#haha just one more after this and i can close the doc! i got hung up on seasonings for her

[shivunin]

🙤 Unusual OC Associations 🙧

Elowen Lavellan

Seasoning: Rosemary: intense but versatile

Weather: Dark, heavy clouds that always seem on the verge of breaking into torrential rain

Colour: Black and gold with a hint of deep green

Sky: Cloudy at night with a crescent moon in the distance

Magic power: Storms: the earth-shattering crack of lightning through a tree, the rain that cools and soothes the resulting fire, and the wind that blows the ashes away until all is clean again.

House plant: A purple orchid. She would bend over backward keeping it at exactly the right humidity, soil acidity, and sunlight. 

Weapon: A staff made of smooth, polished wood with periodic brass fittings for secure handling. 

Subject: Art—she already sketches, but I think she would like the stillness and independence of drawing landscapes and weather

Social media: A Twitter account she’s terrified to use. She posts and deletes immediately, even though her account is private. 

Make-up product: Foundation/cover-up (she always has dark circles under her eyes and she’s tired of people asking why she looks so tired)

Candy: Dark chocolates with an unknown filling—could be bittersweet, could be spicy, or it could be rich on the tongue.

Fear: Spiders; it’s the hairy legs for her, moving in that disjointed fashion, always closer than you expect. (Also—that she will never live up to the person everyone else thinks she is)

Ice cube shape: Standard cube shape, but the water was filtered and they froze perfectly clear

Method of long distance travel: Mounted; she is best friends with her hart and spends long rides chatting with him.

Art style: Romantic; striking to look at, rich with detail the closer you look.

Mythological creature: Griffin; a study in opposites, fight and flight joined in one body. 

Piece of stationery: Meticulously lined paper

3 emojis: 😓 ⛈️🥺

Celestial body: A comet, simultaneously clear and distant

Tarot Card: The Queen of Swords; associated with air and intellect, the Queen reaches out with one hand and guards herself with a blade in the other. She is crowned with symbols of memory, dreaming, and the mind.

Also, since I made the post about Salshira earlier, here is the actress I picture as Elowen (but imagine her with like, haunted eyes)(Her name is Teresa Ruiz):

[spideychelleforever]

Somehow, MJ had found herself in a multiverse spanning adventure with her boyfriend and what she assumed was the most powerful sorcerer in the world. To be honest, as smart as she was, the staggering enormity of the fact she was traveling through other universes, and the fact that her own - one where she had lived a happy childhood, where she watched VHS’s with her mom and dad all day, where her biggest concern was not getting more applesauce, where the scariest thing was her room before she got Christmas lights hung over her bed - was just ONE universe out of countless others?

It was more than she wanted to really process. So she was doing her best to roll with it.

Peter, ever the eternal spring of happiness and light, even if it was his own coping mechanism, was unbothered, and all he did was smile at her and keep holding her hand and staying close to her wherever she, him, and Strange went. She wasn’t religious, but God bless him? He had a way of trying to make her feel safe, even if he didn’t succeed in it, and it just reminded her all over again how she’d been in love with him since he was a curly haired, baby fat-carrying dork who was friendly to her on her first day of school with him.

But, nonetheless, through the multiverse they went. Seeing all kinds of terrible things, some of them mundane things. She got to meet other versions of herself. One Michelle Jones was a successful, rich artist, who provided her husband with a lot of financial backing for his superheroics. One Michelle Jones was a cat-themed vigilante who had a particularly fiery, passionate relationship with Peter. One Michelle Jones was super fat. One Michelle Jones was Spider-Woman, and Peter was her small, meek sidekick. Another had taken the super soldier serum out of desperation and was now Captain America. Another had been with the Avengers throughout the Snap and the Blip while Peter had still died and came back. MJ lost track of how many Michelle Jones’ she met.

But the one thing they all had in common, which started having a profound effect on the temperature in her chest, was that they all were with their Peter Parker. His exact appearance and personality differed a bit in each universe, but it was still recognizably the same Peter Parker who told her he really liked her on the bridge in London. The same smile, the same hair, the same sweetness. And in every single universe, he loved his respective Michelle Jones.

It started doing things to her head, you know? Seeing the same thing play out in all these different universes. Yes, they had already met a Peter Parker who was with a Mary Jane Watson, and a Peter Parker who was with a Gwen Stacy, both of whom were older than her Peter. But seeing this? That in countless universes, Peter Parker and Michelle Jones were still very much in love despite everything, despite everything she had done in the years prior to the Europe trip that had been done seemingly to sabotage her own happiness?

It was unreal.

And it made her soft.

Inevitably, something went wrong, however. Some enemy from the multiverse attacked and she and Peter were separated from Strange. Their instincts told them to stay put, knowing Strange was the most qualified to find them and not the other way around. At this point, they were in the empty apartment of… themselves? MJ could see pictures framed or on the wall of their variants. It was still recognizably them, but again, there were minor differences.

They were eating some ramen noodle cups when they heard a knock at the door. Eying each other warily, the pair slowly went to the peephole - MJ took point since she was taller, ha - and MJ slowly turned back to him, startled.

“Who is it?” Peter asked.

“… it’s you,” MJ mumbled.

They opened the door, and another Peter Parker variant was standing there.

And another.

And another.

And another.

Soon the apartment was filled with far more than just one Peter Parker. Thankfully, her Peter had a distinctive scar on his cheek from a recent fight with Doc Ock, so she wouldn’t lose track. But being in a room with much, much more Peter than she was used to? That was a lot.

They all talked over each other, trying to figure out what was going on. Talk of portals and villains and where their Michelle Jones was. Soon talk shifted to how long they’d been with their respective Michelle. What she liked to do, what she liked to eat, their favorite memories. So then they all turned their attention to Michelle herself, and asked if she was okay.

This was-a fucking lot. Michelle stared wide-eyed. Attention was never something she was great at. And she still had… issues over the fact that she was getting it from the boy she’d pined after for so many years. And now she was getting attention from all these Peter’s?!?

“No, I’m NOT!” MJ shouted. And soon it was all out in the open. She couldn’t even process how heartbreaking it was to see the pain in each Peter’s face, least of all her own, at seeing her angrily rant and stress about the situation. About how she wanted to forget there was a multiverse, about how she just wanted to go home and live a safe life with her Peter again. It just wasn’t fair, and soon she was sniffling.

No Peter made a move except for her own. The one who had been nice to her on their first day of school. “Can I touch you?”

Through her tears, MJ stiffly nodded, and melted into his embrace, smiling weakly when she felt a peck on her cheek.

“What can I do, to make you feel better?”

MJ didn’t answer.

That is, until he said something that changed her.

“We could have sex?”

MJ stared at him blankly.

Yes, they’d been active before this all started. But… actually, that sounded better than she had expected. Much, much better.

MJ eventually slowly nodded. And she betrayed herself by glancing around the room of Peter’s.

Peter slightly raised an eyebrow, his smile turning a little smug. “Did you have a crazy idea?”

MJ couldn’t answer as she looked back at him.

Peter shrugged. “Well, they’re all me.”

MJ didn’t respond.

****

Nine hours.

Nine hours passed after Peter affirmed the other Peter Parker’s were all him.

And Michelle Jones had seemingly lost track of everything since then.

Never in her life had she expected to see not one, but at least a dozen nearly identical set of naked Peter Parker’s all ready to pleasure her. To take care of her. To caress her, to tease her, to do things to her that made her feel like a goddess. A goddess of gluttony and lust who was pleasured by all she wanted.

She hadn’t expected to become nearly hysterical. Okay, well, her and Peter’s first time she did get pretty worked up - she’d been wanting her boy for years, of COURSE she got loud, okay?! - but this was different. She’d been hoarse after her nights with Peter, but she could barely speak. She had never expected to be pleasured by twelve times the “old webshooter” than she was used to. And she never expected so many of his toned arms, his thick and muscular calves, his washboard abs, his rock solid chest, to be on her. And she couldn’t get enough.

She was so greedy she surprised herself. She kept reaching and clawing for more, and more, and more. If this was cake she was desperately clawing for more of, she’d be the fattest Michelle Jones variant in the universe - or multiverse, or Omni-fucking verse, whatever. She couldn’t get enough Peter, and even as horrendously exhausting as it was to be in bed with twelve Peter’s, it wasn’t enough. She wanted Peter Parker. She’d wanted him all her life. And she couldn’t be satisfied.

That was, until after four hours of having multiple Peter’s on her - or in her, haha - her original Peter took leadership. How he cooed that he was here to take over, to take care of her, to please her, to love her.

Michelle had lost count of how many times she’d exploded that night, but she wanted to say it paled in comparison to when she got a hold of her original Peter alone.

After nine hours of Peter, MJ was limp. Only her heartbeat suggested she was alive. She’d seemingly lost any motor functions of her limbs, her hair was a massive, wild, huge mess obscuring her eyes. She was sweaty. Her voice failed her.

And despite all this, she wanted more.

But she couldn’t even be active herself if she wanted. She was just that far gone, she couldn’t even cuddle her Peter back, when that was one of her favorite parts of being in bed with him.

She was barely awake when she felt a light kiss, and heard a soft “I love you” from her Peter.

This was right.

There could be countless other multiverses out there, with countless other possibilities, but this was right.

This is for @machiavelien and their recent drabbles 🥰😜💘 hope I did the idea some justice

[butteraway]

when time runs out | iv

⋆ summary:  A young girl has fallen deeply ill with an unknown disease in her, so with all her free time spent in an empty hospital room, she spends it online playing video games. That's until she meets her cousins friends, one spiking her interest with his extremely vulgare language.

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

word count: 2.5k

warnings: none

authors note: I wanna say im so sorry for lying to yall about that extra chapter KJDFFF😭😭 ALSO @chibiiichann I APOLOGIZE FOR SPAMMING YOU WHENEVER I REPLIED TO YOU💀 A DIFFERENT ACC WOULD POP UP BUT THE FIRST CHAPTER WAS AN INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER EXPLAINING THE OC'S CONDITION JFJDJD

"HAHA! I GOTCHU NOW LOSER!" Y/N smashed the buttons on her controller, basically on the edge of her bed. A grunt was heard through her headphones, then a loud bang with laughing in the background. Y/N felt her stomach turn at the sound of this, feeling a little left out, but smiled nonetheless.

"HOW'D YOU EVEN DO THAT?!! YOU’RE DOING SOME HACKING MY GUY!" Denki yelled through the laughing in the background, hands pulling at his hair. He seriously couldn't believe it!

"I'm not! I just wanted to show Sero I'm way better at this game than you are. And turns out I am!" Y/N let out a loud laugh, falling backwards onto her pillow. After finding out that 'Tape Dispenser' went to her cousin’s school by hearing his voice in the back of Denki's room, she got to learn more about this Sero dude. She already knew this after their last game a few nights ago, but he was so chill. It was still insane for her to find out that her cousin and online friend went to the same hero school. The coincidences in this world. Y/N thought as she grinned.

"It's okay Kaminari, you still lasted a long time! But you did get brutally beat by Y/N at the end though..." Sero said, trying to raise Denki's low spirits, but only succeeded in making him more miserable. Rustling was heard through Y/N's headphones, making it obvious that there was movement happening.

"You don't understand Sero! THIS IS THE ONLY GAME I COULD FULLY BEAT THIS GIRL IN!" Denki shook Sero by the shoulders, quickly doing the action. Cackling was heard through the speakers while the girl wiped a tear from her eye. Sero laughed along, as he was pushed to the ground by Denki. His arms were crossed as he looked away, upset that Y/N managed to finally beat him in every game they played.

"It's okay Denki, not everyone can be as good as me!" Y/N exclaimed, getting up from her bed to start taping specific parts of her room. Kaminari continued to complain about his defeat to Sero, who only chuckled in response. As she finished taping the bottom of the walls, Y/N sat back on her bed, sighing in content.

"So, how are you? I'm doing terribly after being utterly destroyed by you, by the way." Said Kaminari, opening his water bottle and taking large gulps from it. Y/N felt her face light up as she remembered to tell Kaminari of her future activity.

"Bro, you won't believe this! So, basically, they're actually letting me paint my room! All by myself! How fricking cool is that?!" The girl laughed out loud, jumping on her bed in excitement. Kaminari's eyes widen, in surprise and slight fear, sitting up and taking in the new information.

"Wait, really? But isn't that like extremely dangerous? Cuz of the chemicals and what not??" He tried his best to keep his voice leveled, not noticing Sero look at him weirdly. That guy had no idea what was happening.

"Well, they said that they were gonna do something to the paint so it won't hurt me or anything, I don't know what, but-" Y/N was cut off by an extremely confused Sero. "Wait wait wait, hold on. I don't understand what's happening. How can paint harm you? Besides like...eating it. And what do you mean by 'finally getting to paint your room?’ Silence was the only answer he got. Sero gulped in embarrassment, thinking he asked a really personal question.

"Um, it's nothing du-" A loud 'shhhhhhh' was heard from Y/N, who let out a shaky breath. She never really told anyone, it's not like she could either way, being confined in the hospital room for a long time. She pushed a loose strand of her away from her face, preparing herself to tell Sero.

"Well, the reason is because I basically live in a hospital. I can't go outside, or have 'unpurified' air, as the doctors like to say, meaning my interactions with people and the outside world are extremely limited. That means anything that's not cleared of dust and germs, I guess, can be extremely harmful for me? As pathetic as it sounds, it could actually kill me, haha." It was quiet as Sero took in the information, a large wave of emotions crashing on him. A person shouldn't have to be locked in a room for the rest of their life. Especially someone who is such a sweet person like Y/N.

"I-I'm so sorry to hear that Y/N. If you don't mind me asking, how...how long have you been in the hospital?" The young girl answered with a quick 'Two years', and that's when Sero felt his stomach twist uncomfortably. Kaminari abruptly got up and headed towards his door.

"I'm gonna get something to eat, you want something dude?" Kaminari's voice was low and trembling. It didn't take a genius to see that the blonde haired boy needed some time alone. "No thanks." Kaminari let out a hum, quickly exiting his room and closing the door shut. Sero heard the loud sniffs that slowly faded away, as he hung his head down.

"Hey, you good Sero? That was probably a lot to take in, sorry." Sero shook his head, letting a sad smile adorn his face. "It's fine, really. I actually feel honored that you're comfortable telling me. Feels like we're getting closer, to be honest." He smiled happily, meaning every word he said. And Y/N knew that. "Ha, we are though!" The air was tense, despite the two teenagers being in different rooms.

Y/N went to clear her throat, but was interrupted when a light knock echoed throughout her room. "Someone there?" Sero asked, noticing her silence and hearing the very faint knocking.

"Yeah, um Sero, I'll call you guys later, my doctor wants to talk." Y/N quickly replied, seeing Receen open the door and walk in with his thin suit on. Sero let out an ok and they hang up. Y/N finally took in how the doctor looked, noticeable eye bags under his blue-grey eyes, from lack of sleep. His dark hair slightly tousled, probably from putting on the protective helmet that came with the suit, and a small smile on his welcoming face. And a large container of paint in his left hand. Her eyes immediately lit up.

"What’s up doc? I see you have something in your hand, can I see it closer?" The small girl asked, getting up and making a grabbing motion with her hands. Receen chuckled, lifting up the paint for Y/N to see. Even if he were to hand her the container, she wouldn't be able to hold. She was just too weak. Said girl let out a high pitch 'OOOO ' in excitement.

"I'm not sure if you wanted more, but we managed to get you your favorite color! This should be enough to paint the room, you can even put a second layer if you want." Receen walked over to where Y/N put all the equipment, opening the container of paint. And with a low grunt from him, the lid was opened. Y/N watched with amazement as the doctor poured the soft looking paint into a tray. She picked up a roller near her, and drowned the roller in paint, the white fluff getting covered in color.

The two began painting, Y/N's hand shaking every now and then. After painting half the room, they sat in silence, resting for a while. Receen seemed to be tense, though Y/N didn't seem to notice since she was too happy to speak. Receen let out a breath, breaking the silence, causing Y/N to look towards him.

"I didn't get to ask you how you were, did I Y/N? How are you?" Said girl let a beaming smile spread on her face, causing Receen to slightly squint his eyes from the intensity of her smile. "Honestly, I haven't felt this happy in a very long time! I actually still can't believe you guys really let me do this! Thank you so much!"

Receen gave her a small smile while rubbing the back of his neck. "It's not a problem, you could’ve asked sooner and gotten this done a long time ago. You've been here for two years, so please don't be afraid of asking for things!" At the mention of her time spent in the hospital, Y/N lowered her head, causing Receen to wince. Well, might as well tell her. The doctor cleared his throat and began to talk.

"Y/N, as you are aware, I, along with many other doctors and scientists, have been working hard for you to be able to go outside again. To see your family, hug them, be a normal kid again." There was a pause and that alone caught Y/N's attention. She looked up at him. "There is a way for you to finally do that, Y/N."

Shock evident on the girl's face, she abruptly stood up and faced the doctor. There was absolutely no way anyone could have found a cure for someone like her. Someone who had an incurable sickness. Someone who was too sick, to even have medicine. He's lying. Y/N narrowed her eyes at the grown man sitting in front of her.

"With all due respect Doctor, I highly doubt that ​​that's possible. Cuz, y'know? I basically have an incurable disease? I mean, like, even if you did manage to find a way for me to leave this place, how do you even know it's gonna work? I don't think you've tried this medicine since no one in recorded hospital documents in the past have had people like that checked in before-"

"How do you even know that?"

"-so how do you truly know it'll work?" Y/N quickly finished, completely ignoring his statement. Receen sighed, scratching his head. "We live in a world where quirks exist. Would you believe me if I told you centuries ago that the human race would evolve to have super powers? It's kind of like that, but not really." Y/N eyed him suspiciously. He's avoiding the question.

Receen looked straight at the girl standing in front of him. He felt slightly intimidated by her piercing gaze. He quickly looked away and got up, towering over Y/N's small frame. Then he smiled. "Y/N, you are a very sweet girl, no doubt about it. I know how much you want to get out of here, and I want to help you. My team has created this almost perfect pill, especially suited for your sickness. I know you're very cautious, just like your mother, but I can only reassure you, that these are your ticket out of here." He pulled out the bottle from his protective suit, shaking it in front of [Y/N].

Her eyes widened as she restrained herself from reaching out and snatching the bottle. Her eyes slightly narrowed as she pulled herself together. Crossing her arms and slightly tilting her upwards, she looked into the doctor's bright eyes. "There's always a catch when it comes to these kinds of things. What's the price if I take these? My lifespan shortens, I only have five hours to go outside, it drugs me or something?"

"I'm hurt you think I would just give you these without setting out the consequences." There was a slight glint in his eyes before it quickly disappeared. Y/N hummed, urging the doctor to continue.

"There are exactly 15 pills in here. And consuming just one of these bad boys right here, would allow you to go outside! Though, time is very important when taking these. You'd have 10 hours before the pills effects wear off. These would dull your hypersensitive senses, but not to a point where you can't feel, smell or do anything. No no, it'd just be like how you were before. You'd feel slightly dizzy and be a little itchy, but besides that, nothing too extreme. It just dulls all your body senses down." Receen gave Y/N a small smile. She looked a little weary, unsure if what he said was true. She looked at the bottle then back to Doctor Receen, fingers twitching every now and then. Breathing in and letting it out slowly, Y/N stared straight into the doctor's eyes.

If I take these, I can finally go out. I can hug mom and dad, I can be around Denki again. I can meet Sero face to face and feel the grass again! I can be... happy again. But if these don't actually work, I'd immediately die on the spot. I'd be able to go outside though. Aah, so much going outside, I can meet new people! I don't wanna spend the rest of my days slowly rotting away in here anyway.

"So Y/N, are you going to take them or let all our time go to waste?"

Sero looked at his hands solemnly, thinking about what Y/N had told him. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, then lightly slapped his cheeks to stop the wave of emotions from spilling out.

"Yo, you good dude? It's not everyday I see someone willingly slapping themselves." Kaminari chuckled, walking in and closing the door with his foot as he carried a soda bottle and a bag of chips towards the boy sitting on his bed. Sero grinned, feeling the sadness of everything wash away.

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine. But what about you though? After we had that conversation, you were, well, umm... kind of out of it." Kaminari froze, letting a dejected smile appear on his face. Dragging a hand down his face, he let out a sorrowful laugh.

"She's my best friend. My first real, true friend. She's basically my sister at this point. So when she collapsed that day, I felt my whole world crashing down. She is the sweetest, the most kindest, person I have ever met. She never let me degrade myself, alway cheered me up when people called me stupid." Kaminari rubbed his eyes, opening the bag of chips and plopping one of them into his mouth.

"It hasn't been the same ever since she left, her parents barely come over anymore, and they're always so sad whenever I see them. My own parents aren't the same either, they treated her like their own daughter. I can't even begin to imagine how Y/N feels about this all. She was the top in our grade, highest scores in our test. No one could compare to her. M-my heart breaks for her. She lost everything." Sero let that information sink in, thinking about how she was before. He smiled as he saw Kaminari's shoulders begin to shake. He cares so much for her.

He put his hand on his shoulder, watching Kaminari slowly lift his face towards him. "Come here you emotional ball of feelings." Being the friendly guy he is, Sero gave the sobbing boy a hug, cuz hugs fix everything.

"No homo though bro." And with that, they both laughed out loud, continuing their bro day.

[elisaphoenix13]

Once Upon A Summer (Ch. 5)

"Well...I did say it would wear off over time." Stephen says as he looks Peter over.

Once Tony got Peter's clean bill of health and assurance that there was nothing to be concerned about, he asked Friday to put in an order for things a two year old would need. Such as bigger clothes, possibly bigger diapers, and oh god...potty training. Was it really worth doing? At the rate Peter was growing back to his teenage body, it was likely Tony would pull his hair out over nothing. He'd much rather change diapers than try the pointless endeavor of getting Peter to use the toilet when he would know what to do when he got bigger. So both he and Stephen decided they wouldn't bother.

"I really hope Pete doesn't live up to the terrible twos I've heard about." Tony sighs.

"I'm surprised you've heard of it." Stephen jests and gets an eye roll from Tony.

"Haha. Very funny. Just for that you get to change his next diaper."

"Daddy up!" Peter says as he holds up his arms.

That was another thing Tony was still trying to wrap his head around. Daddy. It threw him for a loop, but he would be lying if he said he hated it. He actually kind of liked it. Peter was his kid and it made Tony wonder if Toddler Peter was just voicing how Teenage Peter had felt all this time. Did Peter actually see him as a father figure and was too worried Tony might shut him down if he said anything? Knowing him, it was a possibility. Peter was a people pleaser. Almost to a fault. But he was a good kid who always tried to do the right thing, even if sometimes he went about it the wrong way.

That train of thought brought Tony back to his earlier conversation with Stephen. He brushed the sorcerer off when he pointed out the similarities between them, but now he was just as curious. He did say he would take the paternity test to see if there was a match, and maybe now was the best time to do it. Before Peter grew even more and was more aware of what was going on.

"Hey...about that test…" Tony starts and Stephen raises an eyebrow.

"What about it?"

"We should do it now, I think. Get it over with you know? Bruce can do it and I can trust him to keep it to himself." Tony rambles.

"If you'd like. Should we pack up?" Stephen asks.

"No. We'll pop over then come back. I'm sure Peter would enjoy the beach now." Tony says.

Stephen merely nods and leaves the master bedroom after muttering something about a sling ring. Tony then finally gave in to Peter's request to be picked up, made sure his diaper was clean, and waited for the sorcerer to return so they could make a quick trip back to the tower. Tony knew he was always dressed to the nines wherever he went, but at the moment, he didn't feel the need to uphold his image. He was comfortable in his t-shirt and sleep pants and he was on vacation. Sort of.

He was taking a few much needed days off at least. Most people wouldn't even consider that a vacation.

"Are you going like that?" Stephen asks when he returns to the room.

"Are you?" Tony counters, eyeing the similar getup Stephen was wearing.

It was nice to see Stephen could relax in some clothes that didn't require twenty belts. Nineteen of which Tony was positive were just for show...and to keep unwanted hands away. That was a hell of a way to stay abstinent.

"Touché." Stephen chuckles and makes a gateway to the Med-bay in the tower. "I'm too lazy to change. Especially if we're coming back."

"Me too." Tony steps through the gateway, and actually finds himself already face to face with Bruce who looked very confused.

"How did you…?" Bruce starts and then looks past Tony as Stephen follows through the gateway before it closes. "Oh."

Then Bruce's attention was drawn to Peter and the confusion that had gone away just milliseconds ago was back in full force. Tony was pretty sure he could actually hear the cogs turning in his head.

"Who's the kid?"

"Long story short, Pete was hit by a spell that turned him into a baby while he was out on patrol. Strange and I are vacationing until he's back to normal." Tony says.

"I think I prefer this over an actual visit because of an injury." Bruce says. "Especially since you're not coming to me with questions."

"No...just…" Tony hesitates. "Can you do a paternity test?" He finally asks with a mumble.

Bruce's eyebrows shoot up. "What brought this on?"

"A nosey sorcerer."

There was a scoff behind him.

"Sure."

Bruce had Tony sit down and go first in the hopes that when it came to Peter's turn, the toddler wouldn't fuss and make a two second finger prick turn into a five minute ordeal. Peter watched with curious eyes as Bruce drew some blood from the billionaire, and once he got that put away, he turned to the boy standing next to Tony's chair. He waited until Tony got up and helped Peter into the chair, and then held his hand out.

"Can I see your hand Peter?" Bruce asks softly.

Peter looks down at his hands and then offers one of them to Bruce with eyes still filled with curiosity, and watches as the man disinfects it. Everything after that was so quick, Peter didn't even realize Bruce had pricked his finger until he was collecting the blood. To his credit, he didn't scream, but there were certainly tears welling up in his eyes. Tony felt a little bad for putting the kid through this just for the sake of curiosity, but he would make it up to him. Ice cream always makes things better right?

"Sorry Peter. It's already over." Bruce tells him as he wraps a band-aid around his finger.

"Come on kiddo." Tony says as he reaches out for the boy, only to be given a look of utter betrayal.

"No!" Tony blinks in surprise as Peter hops off the chair, pushes by him, and runs over to hug Stephen's leg. "Want Mama! You mean!"

Two things immediately crossed Tony's mind at that moment. One, he felt awful when Peter gave him that look of betrayal. But then the second thought trumped the first and he tried to hold back the laughter that was bubbling in his chest. It wasn't easy when he saw the expression on Stephen's face. A mixture between mortified, exasperated, and maybe some pity for the toddler. What the sorcerer said next broke the dam of Tony's laughter though.

"Why am I Mom?"

"Well you do coo to him in the mornings." Tony says through his cackling and earns a miffed huff.

"I do not!"

"I have video evidence." Tony laughs some more when Stephen sputters. "Come on Doc. We'll head back so you can bury yourself in the sand."

That was all Stephen needed to turn and reopen the gateway back to the Malibu mansion, and he even picked up Peter before walking through. Tony in the meantime took a few moments to calm down and turn back to Bruce.

"You'll call me?"

"Yeah. I should have the results by tonight. Only because I don't have much I'm working on right now." Bruce says.

"I'm assuming I don't need to tell you to keep this between us?" Tony asks and the other man shakes his head. "Thank you."

Tony turns and steps through the gateway that he was a little surprised Stephen left open for him, and once he was through and it closed behind him, he looked around when he didn't see the two right away. It didn't take much looking to find them in the kitchen and discovering that Stephen had the same idea he had. The man was currently scooping out some chocolate ice cream into a small bowl for Peter, who was looking up at him in excitement. Almost like Stephen hung the sun just for him.

"Hey, I was going to give him ice cream!" Tony complains.

"Well I'm clearly the nice parent so I need to live up to my role." Stephen says. "You're the bad parent that has to get his own ice cream."

Tony sighs. "Ouch. I'm supposed to be the favorite."

He walks over to scoop out his own ice cream as Stephen leads Peter over to the table and helps him into a chair. Even the sorcerer had his own bowl of ice cream and managed to eat it while keeping an eye on Peter so the toddler didn't make too much of a mess. After Tony put away the carton of ice cream, he sat across from Stephen with his own bowl and immediately stuck a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. Even he had to admit it was a nice treat after being poked at.

"You know I don't remember ordering ice cream." Tony says eventually.

"That's because I did." Stephen tells him. "You did say I could get whatever I wanted or needed."

The tone in Stephen's voice made Tony nod immediately. It was like he wasn't sure what Tony had said was genuine or something and Tony didn't want him to think that. He wanted Stephen to be comfortable. Get what he wanted without having to worry about money. To enjoy himself.

That's what part of this getaway was about after all.

"I did...and that's still true. I honestly expected you to ask me if it was okay first. You usually do that."

"I figured you wouldn't notice ice cream on your bill." Stephen says dryly.

"I didn't. If Mom needs his chocolate--hey! Ow!" Tony winces when Stephen kicks his shin under the table. "Come on! It's cute!"

"Only when Peter does it." Stephen huffs. "He calls me that out of care. You call me that to tease me."

"Oh believe me. If I wanted to tease you, I could think of much more adult ways to do it that we would both enjoy."

That got him another kick to his shins but Tony decided it was worth it. Stephen blushed so prettily and it made him wonder if he was actually getting to the doctor. All of Stephen's attention was turned to his own ice cream or at Peter after that, but Tony was content to stare at the blush on the younger's face and had to smile when it took it's time to go away. It probably didn't help that he was staring in the first place. Tony was being obviously blatant about it and, him being him, unashamed.

"All done!" Peter exclaims a few minutes later and holds up his hands as if to prove his point.

Stephen chuckles and grabs a napkin to help him clean his hands. "You sure are. Would you like to go to the beach?"

"Beach?" Peter questions and Tony was thankful the boy didn't mispronounce it. "Yeah."

"Maybe I'll make lunch for us to have while we're there." Stephen says and Peter nods. "What kind of sandwich would you like?"

"Mmm…"

Peter seemed to struggle with deciding so Stephen helped him down from his chair and led him back into the kitchen to look in the fridge. While he listed off the options to the toddler, Tony watched and listened as he absently ate the rest of his ice cream. It was a surprise to see Stephen doing so well with Peter and it was attractive if he was honest. The other Avengers liked Peter well enough, even cared about him, but Stephen took it to a parenting level like Tony did. Peter certainly viewed the younger man in that light.

"Daddy gets tuna." Peter says and Tony chuckles. Teenage Peter was definitely in there somewhere and remembered Tony's favorite kind of sandwich.

Tony gets up with his empty bowl and spoon and takes it to the kitchen to rinse off in the sink so he can put it in the dishwasher. Once that's finished, he turns to look at Peter and Stephen and then crouches in front of the toddler.

"Hey Pete. How about we go get you ready for the beach and leave Mom to make lunch?" He suggests.

Stephen didn't protest "Mom" being used this time. Maybe because Tony was only using it because that was how Peter saw the sorcerer.

"How?" Peter asks.

"Well, for one thing, we gotta get you in some swim trunks. Bet Friday ordered some for you." Tony says.

"I also took the liberty of ordering some sunblock." The AI says and Tony raises an eyebrow at Peter.

"See? Even Friday knows what you need better than I do."

Peter seemed to study Tony and what he did next took the older man by surprise. He wrapped his little arms around Tony's neck and squeezed as hard as he could. Peter was giving him a hug.

Wait. That shouldn't have been surprising at all. Peter was a touchy-feely kind of person and Tony...wasn't. He already denied Peter that hug after coming back from Germany, but he would be damned if he did it again. Maybe it was what Peter said that was surprising to Tony.

"You good daddy." Peter says into his shoulder.

Tony swallows back the lump in his throat. "I thought I was mean."

Peter moves away and pouts at him after holding up his finger. "No more boo-boos."

"No more boo-boos." Tony confirms with a chuckle and even kisses the bandaged finger. "Not because of me."

Stephen snorts. "Now it's just a matter of if he can keep himself from getting boo-boos."

Tony huffs and gets up with Peter in his arms. He really didn't need the reminder that his kid was, in fact, a web slinging vigilante. So he pinched Stephen's ass when he wasn't paying attention as his rebuttal. The sorcerer's jolt and deep blush just before his confused sputtering sent Tony into a laughing fit as he took Peter to the front door where the packages were waiting.

"Stark, I swear on the Vishanti--"

"Don't try to deny that you liked it. Your blush speaks for you. Nice ass by the way." Tony states nonchalantly and gets another fit of sputtering from Stephen.

Peter, having been looking over Tony's shoulder as the engineer walked away, giggles. "Mama red."

[bestchar-imagines]

Could I have a request for Pregame! Kokichi having a fem! delinquent s/o? They are usually the type to fight people for good reason. Like they see Kokichi getting bullied on the way to school and they took pity on him and threatened the bullied to stay away from him unless they wanted a death wish. They expected Kokichi to thank them and go once the bullies ran away, but Kokichi stays near them from now on. And from there they develop a sweet relationship.

Pregame!Kokichi with a Fem!Delinquent S/O who stands up for him.

Ahhh this one is a long one! Nearly four pages long in google docs, so I hope that’s okay.

Also, if you don’t like nail polish, you can always use it to paint his nails which DOES show up in later times.

TW: Sexism, mention of death threats, bloody noses.

♡ You were.. Something, to say the least.

♡ You got into trouble almost daily, got into fights, both verbal and almost always physical.

♡  For good reasons of course!

♡  Like someone stole someones belongings, someone is hitting on someone thats uncomfortable, etc.

♡ People on the ‘weaker’ side wonder how you do it, how you have the guts to do something like that.

♡ You got many odd looks when you won fights, especially against dudes.

♡ People at school are dicks. If you’re a tough girl you’ll get made fun of, if you’re a weak boy you get made fun of, even if you’re just a daily average, healthy person… you get made fun of.

♡ Constant stereotypes were told to you a lot of the times.

♡ ‘He let you win because you’re a girl!’

♡ That was the most common one.

♡ People thought that naturally, girls are supposed to be more fragile and ‘cutesy’.

♡ Yeah well screw that.

♡ Anyway.

♡ Your ‘tough personality’ cracked on the way to school to see someone getting bullied, specifically a frail boy.

♡ You knew who it was.

♡ Normally you wouldn’t care, but this especially pissed you off.

♡ Kokichi Ouma, basically the school's punching bag. He’s short, thin, pale, and very jumpy.

♡ God knows how he became this way.

♡ You barely saw the boy, from what you presume is him hiding from the school’s bullies.

♡ You kinda felt bad for him.

♡ No, not kinda.

♡ You did. You felt bad. You felt bad for him.

♡ So you decided to step in.

♡ And your attempt at ‘stepping in’ was… physical.

♡ A punch and a kick in the dick.

♡ And a few threats.

♡ Death threats.

♡ You looked over at Kokichi, he looked stunned despite his bloody nose and bloodshot eyes.

♡ “Here, let’s get you washed off.”

♡ You helped him walk to the nearest public bathroom, setting him on the sink.

♡ “Did he hurt you anywhere else besides your nose?”

♡ Kokichi shook his head no.

♡ You had him tilt his head back as you tapped the blood away, then held a tissue up to his nose.

♡ “Do you think you can handle this by yourself?”

♡ With a shaky smile, he nodded once more.

♡ You pat his head gently before you left.

♡ After that day, you never expected him to come back to you, after all, you didn’t stay with him longer than that. Plus, you knew that the ‘weaker’ ones found you intimidating, so why wouldn’t he?

♡ You felt a bit guilty.

♡ That expectation quickly faded away when you heard..

♡ “E-Excuse me!”

♡ Kokichi?

♡ He ran to your side with a box.

♡ “I-I didn't properly t-thank you for y-yesterday! A-And I didn’t k-know what you liked..sooo…”

♡ He handed you the box.

♡ “I-I’m sorry if y-you’re not into this stuff! B-But.. I-it’s all I could afford…”

♡ You opened up the box.

♡ Nail polish kit.

♡ It had various dark nail polishes, small peel off stickers perfect for your nails, nail polish remover and cotton balls.

♡ You could tell this was homemade.

♡ “I-I’m sorry.. I d-don’t know much about.. Girls.. O-or anyone at all! So.. I w-went with what my mom t-told me..”

♡ Cute.

♡ “Thanks.”

♡ “Y-Yeah! I was.. Also, um…”

♡ Kokichi fiddled with his school’s uniform.

♡ “W-Wondering if..”

♡ “You want to be my friend?”

♡ “Eeh?!”

♡ Haha.

♡ “..Y-Yeah.. I d-didn’t get picked o-on when I walked h-here! So.. I g-guessed it was your d-doing! Ah.. I also.. U-um.. think you looked really c-cool doing that… f-for me out of all people..”

♡ You gave him a one-armed hug.

♡ “Sure.”

♡ Since then, you two were close. You stood up for him, hung out with him whenever you could, walked him home and to school, had sleepovers too! You spent most of your time doing that with watching Danganronpa and painting each other’s nails.

♡ It was nice.

♡ He was happy, which made you happy of course.

♡ Finally, he felt safe.

[50funny]

Mage: Chapter 83-Gathering Intel

Written By 50Funny

Part 1- Separated (Part 1)

The sun started to rise high above the city skyline, bathing the tall skyscrapers in light. The streets were now packed with thousands of people walking around and going about their business. Alex and 5 Hid out of sight in a dark side street watching all the people pass by. They wore large tattered black rag covering up everything except for their face.

“Thing’s got busy pretty quick,” said 5.

“I know what you mean. Even with these disguises, someone is bound to notice how much we stick out. maybe we should wait till things quiet down a little before we make our move,” Alex suggested.

“We don’t have enough time to just wait around all day, we need to keep moving and find out as much intel as we can.”

Alex raised his hand to his chin as he though on how to get out of their predicament. He looked back down the ally they stood in to see a ladder attached high up on of the walls. Alex walked down the ally to stand underneath the ladder, looking up at it.

“Hey come over here and give me a boost!” Alex yelled.

5 walked over to Alex and looked up at the ladder before kneeling down and placing her hands over her shoulders. Alex awkwardly stepped onto 5’s hands, struggling to keep his balance.

“Wow… you’re a lot heavier then you look.”

“Hey don’t be rude,”

5 swiftly stood up pushing her arms up as she did, sending Alex flying up into the air. As he flew up through the air he passed by the ladder and grabbed hold of it. Alex hung off of the ladder high up against the wall by one arm. He looked down at 5 bellow him.

“Wow, you’re a lot stronger then you look,” Alex said.

“Thanks.”

Alex looked at the side of the ladder seeing a clip on the side stoping it from extending down to the ground. He reached his free arm up to the rusted clip and forced it into the release position. Suddenly the ladder started to extend out with Alex still clinging to the end of it. As he came close to the ground he jumped backwards. The ladder reached the ground as Alex slammed into the opposite wall with a loud thud. He slid down to the ground landing on his ass against the wall.

“Agh crap that hurt,” Alex groaned.

5 walked over to Alex and stood over him before reaching her hand out.

“Smooth move’s there cowboy.”

“Shut up,” Alex replied as he reached out to grab 5’s hand.

5 pulled Alex up to stand next to her. Alex walked over to the ladder and started to climb up followed behind by 5. They reached the top of the ladder and pulled themselves on top of the roof. They both kept themselves as low as possible as they made their way to the edge of the building and laid down on their stomachs. Across the street from there position Alex sore a building that was much shorter than all of the others. Every now and then someone walked out of or into the building dressed in a dark blue uniform with a badge pinned to there chest and a gun clipped into their holster.

“You see that over there,” Alex said raising his hand to point at the building. “I’m guessing that it’s a police station. From what I’ve heard the police and military in Lemia are pretty intertwined. If we listen in from here until the crowd starts to disperse we might be able to gather some pretty good intel.”

“Not bad thinking, so how’s your hearing.”

“I think I can manage.”

Alex and 5 both focused all of there energy into their ears and focused their hearing onto the building. They waited and listened for anything that could be of use to them.

Part 2- Separated (Part 2)

Two arms made out of a light blue energy shot out from 4’s shoulders. They reached out with his two extra arms and wrapped his hand around the head and neck of a soldier. The soldier desperately tried to escape 4’s grasp. In one swift move, 4 cracked the man's neck cutting off his struggle and sending him limply flopping to the ground. He turned to look at Adam who stood above another soldier who cowered on the ground backed up against a large grassy mound. The pair stood in a wide-open field with the city far off in the distance. A road leading from the city ran past them and off into the other direction.

“Now if you don’t want to end up like your friend there then I suggest that you start talking,” Adam threatened.

“P..p… please don’t hurt me… I don’t speak much English… just please let me live,” the man said in a panicked tone.

“If you want to live then start talking, I don’t want to have to hurt you but if it comes to that then I won't hesitate.”

“You’re being too nice,” 4 said as he stomped over to the man.

He picked the man up by his collar and raised him above the mound they hid behind. The soldier turned to look over the mound seeing a large fenced-off area slightly in the distance filled with green tents and small buildings.

“What is that place and what is it’s purpose,” 4 continued as he lowered the man again

“I… It’s a military mechanic outpost, it’s one of the facilities we use to make and repair vehicles for the army… just please don’t hurt me I’m just a mechanic I don’t know much."

“A mechanics outpost huh, I bet they keep some of those machines that Liz was talking about there. If we can take it down it might make things easier further down the line.”

“Sounds like a plan to me. Thanks for the help friend,” 4 said before reaching his other energy arm out to grab the man's head.

“Wait not…. You told me you…”

In one swift move 4 cracked the man's neck cutting off his panicked ranting and sending his body falling limply down to the ground. 4 and Adam both crawled up the large mound giving them cover and laid at the top of it so they could look at the base in the distance.

“So how are we gonna get in there? it’s bound to be pretty heavily guarded and I doubt that they'll just let us stroll in,” 4 said.

Adam looked back down to the two bodies at the base of the mound.

“I doubt those two are gonna be using their uniforms any time soon,” Adam replied.

“That sounds good to me.”

Without warning the radio clipped to Adam's side started to let out a static sound.

“Hey ahhh this is 9, we’ve managed to locate the president's home,” 9’s voice cut through the static. “Me and 7 are gonna sneak in and, figured we should let everyone know before we take that sort of a risk... oh yeah over”

Adam unclipped the radio and held down the button on the side.

“Rodger that. Me and 4 are going to sneak into a military base, we’ll keep you all up to date if anything happens, over and out,” Adam said before clipping the radio back onto his belt.

“Right then let's get moving.”

4 started to crawl back down the mound followed by Adam and started to strip the two soldiers.

Part 3- Separated (Part 3)

Liz, Bip, and 10 sore a large wall at the end of the tunnel with a door in the middle of it. They had been walking all day since they had first woken up and had traveled a long way.

“Finally we’re almost there, I barely got any sleep last night with how early you guys woke me up.”

“Don’t complain, we’ve got a job to do and we can sleep when we’re finished,” Liz replied.

The group reached the door at the end of the tunnel. Liz let out a long deep breath as she readied herself.

“Guess this is it, if they're not here then we’re out of luck,” Liz said.

“We don’t know until we check,” said 10 in a comforting voice.

Liz reached out her hand to the metal door. She curled her hand into a fist and knocked it firmly against the door. Nothing happened after a few seconds. Liz knocked on the door again once again to no avail.

“Hang on a second let me try,” 10 said as he moved in front of the door.

He clenched his hand into a fist and sent it flying towards the door. As he knocked on the door it was sent fling inwards breaking off of the hinges and landing on the ground with a loud metallic thud. 10 turned back around to look at the rest of the group.

“Woops… haha guess I don’t know my own strength.”

“Freeze you three!” came a voice through the doorway.

The group looked through the doorway to see three men pointing their guns at them.

“Put your hand up and walk in here… slowly,” another one of the men yelled.

The group all look at each other somewhat taken aback by their unpleasant greeting. They raised their hands and made their way into the room. on the other side of the door was a large group of people many holding weapons and many more wearing bandages and with broken bones.

“Holy shit, this place seems pretty grim,” Liz muttered.

“I know what you mean, at least we’ve found them,” replied Bip.

One of the guards pointing a gun at the group pushed his gun forward to poke at 10’s fat.

“Looks like we caught ourselves a big fish,” the guard said. “What are we gonna do with them?”

“We should just kill them now and be done with it,” another one of the men said.

“That sounds good to me,” the last man agreed.

“Stop that right now,” came a familiar voice to Liz.

Liz turned her gaze to see an old man with a cane walking towards them and instantly recognized who it was.

“Dr Rico?” Liz said.

“It’s good to see you again Liz, I’m just sorry that it couldn’t be under better terms.”

“Doc you know these guys?”

“Yes, now go point those death sticks somewhere else.”

The men all lowered their arms and saluted to the doctor before walking off.

“It really is good to see you again Liz, If I might ask though why are you here and who are your friends?”

“This is 10 and Bip, we’re all part of the recon team sent here before the main assault begins. Anyway, what happened.”

“Ahh I see so your government is finally making its move. As for what happened I think you can probably piece that together. We were attacked by the military, they wiped out most of our forces but those of us who survived made our way here. That was about a week ago now, we have been trying to work out our next move but haven’t really gotten anywhere, but maybe with you guys here something will finally get done.”

“What do you mean haven’t gotten anywhere, I would have thought Tia would be planning a counter-attack right away.”

The doctor averted his gaze as an uncomfortable expression formed on his face. Liz noticed the expression before taking a step closer to The Doctor.

“Rico… where is Tia?” Liz said.

The silence over the group continued for a moment before Dr Rico finally looked back up to Liz.

“It’s probably best if I just show you… come on follow me.”

Dr Rico walked off. Liz, Bip, and 10 all looked to each other with concern before following after the Doctor.

________________________________________________________________

Thank you for reading chapter 83 of mage If you like what you see consider checking out my AO3 at this link https://archiveofourown.org/users/50Funny to see all new chapters 3 days early.If you feel so inclined please consider following my tumblr for all updates and other tid bits. Until next time , have a good one.

[alternitavely]

Werewolf idea? Chap 1

Shout-out to @kitkat-the-snacc for helping me out so much with this, they're amazing, so check them out!!

_______________

Of course it had to be the one thing he knew so little of how to control that malfunctions.

Edward Richtofen, alongside Nikolai Belinski, Takeo Masaki, and 'Tank' Dempsey had all wound up in somewhere deep in a dark forest, cold and fogged over.

The men look around confused, but none moreso than Richtofen himself who had intended that they arrive elsewhere, nowhere near a forest of this kind. He turns to face the other men, perturbed and a bit nervous.

"Gentlemen! It seems as though we have been transported to an area in which I had not intended, and I am afraid I do not know why."

Nikolai snapped his attention to the German.

"What do you mean, "don't know why"? Is it not you who holds the knowledge of Universe in your Kronorium?" He asked angrily, "Can you not just open another portal?"

"Yeah," Dempsey agreed, "what's the hold up Doc'?"

Edward huffs, irritably. "It is much more complicated than just opening and closing a door. These portals are openings through time and space. Hardly something to fiddle with when it doesn't work properly."

Takeo stepped forward as he surveyed the wooded area. "I fear if we stay to argue here, the light will leave us for the darkness soon." He said, watching the sun lower all to quickly." We need to find shelter from the dangers of the Forest."

Nikolai nodded." Yes, I agree with Takeo. Let us discuss later your incompetence, Richtofen."

The Doctor narrowed his eyes, but did not retaliate. They walked for a time, and eventually found an empty cave.

"Convenient.." Dempsey grumbles, looking for any signs of a wild animal, and finding nothing relevant to their safety.

Edward knew he would only worsen his already dwindling impression on the others, and decided to find food for the others in the forest.

"Are you sure you will be alright on your own, Doctor?" Takeo asked him, taking note of the quicky darkening terrain.

"I assure you that I will be fine Takeo. I will return when I have found something."

Nikolai grunted. "Take your time."

Edward huffed, and made his way into the forest. He walked into the forest for what felt like hours, until he found a lone stag. It was larger than any he had ever seen, and completely oblivious to the rifle he held pointed at his heart. Richtofen fires, and kills it with his rifle, but as he walks back, dragging the large animal slowly, he hears a growl.

A deep, low, threatening sound that makes his hair stand on end, and his body shake to its core. A wolf, larger and more monstrous that he had ever seen, comes out of it's spot in the darkness, hungry for a meal. Richtofen, thinking quickly, tries to back away slowly, posing no challenge to the beast. However, this was no ordinary canine, and it's intentions we're not on eating the fallen fauna, but the scarred man faking confidence before him.

Before Richtofen could do anything to defend himself, the Monster took him to the ground, and bit viciously into his shoulder, its front fangs reaching down to puncture the barely healed wound under his ribs.

He tried to call out, but was muffled by the beastly paw pushing down on his face. He flailed his arm attempting to locate his blade, clawing at the opposing force on his face, finally grabbing it it and frantically slashing at the animals side making it cry out in pain, and flee. Richtofen took a moment to steady himself, groaning loudly as he sad up to bandage his newfound wounds. After a while he managed to stand, and grab hold of the fallen Stags antlers once more, and continued to follow the smoke showing over the trees.

_______

Takeo was the first to notice that Richtofen was very obviously injured, but his question on the matter was drowned out by the other two men's outbursts of astonishment over that large animal he had brought back.

"How did weak man like you manage to move such a large animal, Richtofen?" Nikolai jested,

"Yeah, didn't know you could see past that huge ego far enough to shoot anything smaller than a naval ship!"

Dempsey joked.

Richtofen didn't have the strength to respond. He simply dropped the the deer's head to the ground, tossed his knife to the ground near Nikolai, and stumbled into the shelter, grimmacing

He sat for a while, trying to steady his breathing. His wound hurt incredibly so, he was exhausted, but he promised to be lookout. He was so focused on breathing, on ignoring the pain and staying awake, tht he didn't notice the others calling for him as he faced the wall of the cave.

Takeo decided to confront him directly, rather than have Richtofen just push off the issue like he very often did.

He approached the Doctor, setting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Richtofen?" He called, quietly. "Are you alright, Doctor?"

The German slowly came to, realizing that is the man had asked him something.

He blinked, taking a slow, shaky breath.

" I am sorry, Takeo. I am afraid I didn't hear you."

The warrior looked worried, but repeated himself nonetheless.

"I asked if you were alright, Doctor. You are injured, and look unwell. Are you sure you don't with to rest tonight instead of taking watch?"

The German winced, finally processing the weight on his injured shoulder. He gently removed the other man's hand and put up a false show of wellness.

"Surely you've been worse for wear? I was just hit by the Stäg before I managed to kill it, nothing the Doctor cannot handle!" He stood, stretching, but instantly regretting it. " I appreciate your concern Takeo, but I assure you, I am perfectly fine." His speech was strained, and he was obviously in pain, but he knew he wouldn't be able to make the doctor change his mind without force, so he let him be.

Takeo returned to the others, who had cut up the stag and were now cooking sizeable chunks of it. The skin was hung on a nearby tree, and the antlers were severed and set by the mouth of the cave.

Dempsey had hung strips of the animal over the billowing fire with a rather impressive contraption made of sturdy thin logs.

"So, the fuck is wrong with him?" Dempsey grunted,

He had been peeved that the German had fucked up whatever their mission was supposed to be, but he had calmed down when he realized that there weren't any maggot bags to be seen. Yet.

He had been worried, however, when said German came back looking worse than he'd ever seen him. He looked ready to collapse at the sound of the bell.

"He is badly injured, but he insists he is fine." Takeo replied, looking worried himself. "He is still determined to take watch tonight, though I suspect he won't be able to stay alert enough to preform the task successfully. One of us should stay out with him."

Nikolai huffed. "Let him sit out alone, why should we Care tht he doesn't want to care for himself? He certainly hasn't shown his care for us. And he obviously doesn't know what he's doing, leading us to a place mistakingly, and not telling us of his supposed "plan?"" The Russian vented.

He continued on, clearly unforgiving to their German associate.

The other men looked at him, then to each other. Nikolai would obviously not be staying out with Richtofen tonight.

"I can stay with him, Tak'. You and Nik' just rest for tonight, ok?" Dempsey offered, quietly as not to let their Russian comrade hear.

"If you are sure, Dempsey. Thank you, my Friend." Takeo accepted, greatful for the chance to rest and think over what had been happening for the past few months.

Soon enough, two men went into the shelter to rest while Richtofen exited, avoiding the Russian man's gaze. He knew that he had only worsened his relationship with the larger man, and didn't wish to start an argument over the residing issue. He didn't have the strength.

Dempsey left to stay with the German after a bit, seeing him sitting on a log near the pit they had dug, holding the antlers if the Stag he killed.

"Is that what got you hurt?" The Marine questioned the Doctor, dropping onto the adjacent log.

"What?"

"The antler's, from the deer." He repeated,"Did it hit you? I'd that why you look like you were just run over by a trash compactor?"

The doctor looked back at the antlers. "Ah." He said, sounding distracted. "yes, I'm afraid I became... Distracted."

The Marine laughed. "Must have been something out of a nightmare to have distracted you from I giant deer charging at you, HaHa!"

The German chuckled, a dry and humorless sound.

"How right you are, Dempsey.." He said under his breath.

Tank had failed to hear what his teammate had said, but his did notice the lack of resort from the usually quick-to-resort German.

"You sure you don't need to lay down, Doc? God knows you could use some beauty sleep." Demsey said to him, worry evident in his voice.

The Doctor looked to him, a small smile playing on his tired face.

"Ha-Ha Dempsey, very funny."

The German laughed quietly.

"I fear sleeping anywhere near Nikolai may end in my throat being slit. I wish I could explain to you what I must put you all through this, but I cannot." He said, voice heavy with exhaust.

"Well what's stopping you?" The Marine prodded, hopping to gain a bit .ore information, but also wanting to learn more about the other man.

Richtofen faltered, and slowly rocked in his place, trying to find an explanation.

"I cannot.. explain it.. there are things you would misunderstand, and some you wouldn't understand at all. This is not me saying you arent intelligent, just uninformed."

The American took a second to think about what the Doctor told him, and decided to not press any further.

"Are you alright? You're breathing a little hard there." He tried, seeing as the other's rocking hadn't ceased.

"I am fine." The doctor said, shaky and quiet. He nearly jumped out of his skin when a large, comforting and warm had gripped gently on his upper arm.

"You're hiding something Doc, you aren't alright. What really happened when you went out earlier?"

Richtofen looked at the other, desperate for comfort, wanting to break and tell the other everything, what had happened, the strange twist in his gut when he looked at the moon.

But he resisted, shutting his eyes tight and taking a deep breath, calming himself. "I am sorry, Dempsey, but I will not push my own issues upon you when. You have your own to deal with. Thank you, for talking with me, but u think I'd like to rest now."

The Devil dog seemed disappointed in his response, but said nothing in protest.

"Why don't you sleep here? You said you don't feel safe with Nik', and I'll be finishing watch tonight, so I can make sure you're safe."

The German deemed flattered. "You wouldn't mind too terribly, would you?"

Dempsey grunted, "I'm the one offering, Doc."

Edward chuckled, and nodded. He layed down before the log, far enough from the now dying fire to be comfortable, and tried his best to ignore his worry over the shifting of muscle around his newest injury, and sleep.

[sugarless-suki-writes]

Big God

Fandom: Inuyasha Rating: M Word Count: 2,845 Chapters: 4 of ?

Read on FF||Ao3

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Chapter Four

Kagome let out a groan as her alarm started blaring at her. She whined, keeping her face buried in her pillow as her hand reached for her phone. She put it on snooze and grumbled into her pillow. She didn’t want to go to work...

It was 5 am and she was really not feeling up for anything. She wasn’t human yet. However, as her alarm started blaring at her once again, she grumbled and turned it off, slowly getting into a sitting position. She ran her hands over her face, rubbing into her eyes, and then brushed her bangs out of her face. She would need to get them trimmed soon....

She yawned and threw her blankets off of herself and stepped out of bed. A chill ran up her spine as her bare feet hit the cold hardwood floors. She quickly made her way to her bathroom, her arms crossed over her chest. Once she was in, she turned on the light, closed the door, and started the water for her shower. She usually bathed at night.. but after her.... activity last night, she felt it would be best to wash up before she went in.

She pulled her shirt over her head and peeled off her underwear and stepped towards the tub. She ran her hand under the water. Satisfied with the heat, she pulled back the curtain more, allowing herself room to step in, then closed it and started to wash up.

She would’ve loved to have stayed under the warm water for at least 30 minutes, but she had a job she needed to get to. So, she was quick to bathe and dry off. She hung up her towel and walked out of the bathroom and to her room. She closed the door behind herself and started looking around for clothes. She didn’t have many options, all she really had to do was decide what color scrubs she wanted to wear today, really.

She decided on maroon for the day and once she was dressed, she reached for her phone. Her eyebrows furrowed together as she saw she had a message from Kouga.. from 10 minutes ago. She unlocked her phone and read what he sent her.

[ Good morning, doc. Sleep well? ]

She quirked an eyebrow and tapped out a quick reply.

[ Morning. I slept alright... what are you doing up? ]

She slipped her phone into her pocket and made her way back to the bathroom. She pulled her hair up into a bun and then set to brushing her teeth. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She spat out the toothpaste and rinsed her mouth out. She then pulled the device out of her pocket and read the message he sent her.

[ I’m a youkai, I don’t sleep ]

Her brain tried to put this in a way different context than what she was sure he intended. She blushed fiercely at her own dirty thoughts and did her best to push last night far out of her mind.

[ But how did you know I’d be up to get your message? ]

[ Lucky guess ]

She chuckled at how quick he had answered her. She went to reply, but he sent another message.

[ And hope (^_-) ]

The blush staining her cheeks darkened, but she rolled her eyes, trying to play it off.

[ Well, I hope you know I might not be able to talk much. It gets really busy at a hospital ]

She put her phone back in her pocket and gathered her things. She then made her way to the door, slipping on her shoes, and left her apartment. She put her keys in her purse, then adjusted the strap as she made her way down the stairs and out into the street. Her phone vibrated again and she pulled it out as she entered the alleyway. The same one she had found him in.

[ That’s fine, as long as we get to talk at least a little ]

Kagome felt her heart stutter in her chest. Gods... she really couldn’t handle this right now... She bit her lip and considered her reply. It took her a bit longer than she’d like to admit... but her head was muddied.

[ Well, it’s definitely going to be a little. But I can try to talk to you in between saving lives all day ^_−☆ ]

[ That’s all I could hope for (^з^)-☆ ]

She locked her phone and put it back in her pocket. No no no no no no no no no! She could not start her day like this.. all... blushy and distracted. Her head was not in a good place for work right now.. She needed to calm down..

She sucked in a deep breath and slowly let it out before going into the ER. She made her way to her station and clocked in and put her things away. She then grabbed her coat, putting it on, along with hanging a stethoscope around her neck. She picked up her pager, attaching it to her waistband, and stepped out into the fray.

-BG-

Kagome plopped down into the chair in the cafeteria, holding her head in her hands for a moment. It had been about 4 hours and she finally had a break long enough to sit down and eat. She had three days off and was immediately thrown into a 12-hour shift. She was going to die. Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she pulled it out. It was Kouga. Right, she had never replied to him this morning.

[ Hey, how are you holding up in there? ]

She smiled and tapped out a quick reply.

[ I’m.. something, haha. It’s crazy. I’m just now sitting down to eat ]

She set her phone down on the table next to her and opened up her salad. She poured the dressing on and then mixed it. Her phone vibrated again.

[ Oh wow.. Well, milk it for all you can... by talking to me ]

She snorted and shoved a bite of her salad into her mouth.

[ And what’s so great about you that I should spend my very short break talking to you? ]

[ Where should I start? ]

She shook her head, chuckling to herself.

[ I dunno, you tell me ]

[ Alright, I will ]

[ For one, I’m pretty funny ]

[ Oh really now? ]

[ Definitely. And I’ve been told I’m highly attractive ]

[ By who? Yourself? ]

[ By you, yesterday ]

Her cheeks flared and she had to set her phone down for a moment. She didn’t know why she thought that maybe, maybe he hadn’t noticed her ogling him. Of course he had, he was a youkai, and she wasn’t very good at hiding her ogling yesterday... She took a sip of her water and picked her phone back up to reply.

[ I don’t believe I said anything remotely like that ]

[ You didn’t have to ]

[ Oh really now? ]

[ Yeah, your staring told me everything I need to know ]

Alright.. two could play at this game..

[ And what about you, huh? If I recall correctly, I’m pretty sure you were staring at me too ]

[ I couldn’t help myself. Can you really blame me though? ]

She stilled for a moment, trying her best to will her cheeks to cool and not melt off her face.

[ And why’s that? ]

[ Have you never looked in a mirror? ]

This was it, this is how she would die. Gods....

[ What’s your point? ]

[ You’re also highly attractive ]

[ You’re not even trying to hide your flirting now, are you? ]

[ And you are? ]

Was she being obvious? She knew her staring had been but....

She stuck her tongue in her cheek. She didn’t have to put up with this. She wasn’t... She didn’t have the time for all this! She furiously typed out a message to him.

[ Aren’t you supposed to be causing trouble somewhere? ]

Ah yes, avoidance. The best card she had in her hand.

[ Nah, we did enough of that last night ]

[ Oh? ]

[ Yeah, it was a full moon last night. That’s when the wolves come out. I thought you knew ☆〜（ゝ。∂）]

She rolled her eyes, trying to ignore any innuendo her brain tried to tell her was hidden in the message.

[ I didn’t know youkai followed the rules of werewolf legends, let alone a group of delinquent youkai ]

[ Where do you think those legends came from? ]

[ And even delinquents follow some rules ]

[ Guess I never thought of that ]

Before she could get a reply back, her pager started going off. Kagome let out a sigh and locked her phone, slipping it back into her pocket. Thankfully she had managed to finish her salad while she had been texting. She got up from her seat and tossed the container in the recycling bin and set back to work.

-BG-

Kagome let out a sigh as she stepped out of the hospital. She ended up staying back an extra 2 ½ hours after her shift was supposed to be over. She had gotten a last-minute patient that needed immediate surgery, surgery that required her skills. There were a lot of complications, not to mention she had Kaede shadowing her so she could see firsthand how using reiki in the field worked. Sure, they learned a lot of stuff in hypotheticals and ran drills, but it was nothing like practicing these skills in a real-life situation with real life stakes at hand.

The miko ran a hand through her bangs, momentarily lifting them from her face before letting them flop back down.  It was around 8:30 and so the sun was set and the moon was working its way up into the sky. She couldn’t see it as of right now, as it was hiding behind the buildings. Not that it really mattered; there was enough light for her to see and feel safe.

She started her walk home, pulling her phone out of her pocket and unlocking it, finding it opened to her messages with Kouga. Right....

[ Too busy thinking about me to consider others? ]

She snorted.

[ Someone’s confident, aren’t they? I’ll have you know, I was able to do a lot of work today without thinking of you once ]

It was a lie and she knew it, but he didn’t have to know that.

[ Ouch... Not only are you late to reply, but you hurt me on top of it? Not cool, Kags. I thought you were all about saving lives, not damaging them ]

She quirked an eyebrow at the nickname.

[ I hadn’t realized we were close enough to give each other nicknames ]

[ I thought we were with how you were staring at me ]

She blushed and pulled her lip in between her teeth, gnawing on it for a couple seconds.

[ So what are you up to? ]

She knew she could only get so far with dodging the subject, but she would milk it while she could.

[ Nothing too much. How about you? Still at work? ]

She let out a small breath of relief. At least he was letting her change the subject, she had to give him points for that.

[ Nah, just got off. You wouldn’t BELIEVE the day I’ve had ]

[ Well, tell me about it ]

She really didn’t know what to do or say... but it seemed like her fingers did, as she began to type up a storm. She, of course, left out the names of her patients and certain details, as there was Patient/Doctor confidentiality, but she went off about her day, giving the youkai what details she could. She ended up breaking her rant into five messages, the fifth one being quite a bit shorter than the rest. Her rant had really made time cut down though, as when she looked up she was face to face with her complex. She let out a sigh, grateful to be home, and started making her way up the steps. Her phone vibrated in her hand.

[ Oh wow.. that does sound really hectic ]

[ Yeah.. it really was.. (◞‸◟) ]

Kagome was about to put her phone in her pocket so she could grab her keys for her door, but stopped short. There was a basket in front of her door, a basket full of food. A large basket of food.... She stepped closer, cautious. Crouching down, she inspected it more closely. It was full of fruits: mandarins, apples, pears, strawberries, blueberries, and bananas. As she looked further, she found a small card that was tucked behind an apple. She pulled it out, looking at the small scrap of paper and holding it closer to the light so she could read it.

-From Kouga

Her eyebrows furrowed together and she stood back up. She backed away slightly, just enough to be able to snap a good picture of the basket. Before the wolf had the chance to reply to her previous message, she sent him the photo and asked:

[ What’s this? ]

There was a bit of a pause before he replied

[ It’s food ]

[ I can see that, but why is it here? In front of my door? With your name on it? ]

[ I told you I could bring you food ]

She.... What?

[ I thought you were joking ]

[ I thought you were challenging me ]

Kagome was honestly, wholly and truly, at a loss for words. She had been joking but... had he really been serious about feeding her? She stood there, mouth slightly agape as she tried to process the situation at hand.

Her experience with youkai was limited; she knew how to heal them with reiki without purifying them, she knew how to take them down if necessary, and customs-wise... she really only knew about inus, and even that was severely limited. Was this... something wolf youkai did? She would need to ask Sango....

Her phone vibrated in her hand.

[ Are you going to take it? ]

Her head instinctively whipped around, trying to see if she could spot him, if he was here or not. She would’ve pulsed her reiki out, but she was tired, and she didn’t have much to work with.... She didn’t see him.. Of course she didn’t, he wasn’t here... She let out a huff and replied.

[ Yeah, thank you. You didn’t have to though... ]

[ Well I beg to differ. I have to prove myself somehow ]

[ Yeah, alright ]

She rolled her eyes, shoving her phone in her pocket, unlocking the door, and picking up the basket and stepping inside. She closed the door behind her, using her foot, and then toed off her shoes. She carried the basket further into the apartment, setting it on the counter before going back to the door and locking it. With that done, she walked back into the living area and pulled her phone back out of her pocket.

[ So what do you think of it? ]

[ It’s really nice. Why so big though? ]

[ I told you I would feed you ]

[ Again, I thought you were joking ]

[ Again, I thought you were challenging me ]

She rolled her eyes, going over to the couch and plopping down on it.

[ Well, it’s night now. Shouldn’t you be going out and wreaking havoc? ]

[ I’d rather talk to you ]

Her cheeks burned fiercely.

[ Well, I won’t be up for much longer. I’ve got another shift tomorrow and I need to get some form of sleep in ]

[ Well in that case, I won’t keep you. Need you to get your beauty sleep, even though you’re already quite beautiful ]

[ Don’t get stabbed again ]

[ I won’t ]

[ Unless that’s the only way I’ll get to see you ]

[ Goodnight ]

[ Goodnight, Kagome ]

She held her phone tightly in her hand, trying hard to squash her ever growing feelings. She couldn’t do this... not right now... She was too busy. She was a doctor. He was in the yakuza.... There was no way this could ever work....

But maybe it could....

She shook her head, furiously. No no no no no no no! She was not doing this! She was... This was... His blue eyes flashed in her mind, along with his muscles and his fangs and claws and she felt this heat pool in her abdomen, causing her to squeeze her legs together. She was so fucking screwed....

[imagination-of-a-melted-bitch]

Seungmin’s First Date {Kim Seungmin}

Prompt:  your posts are literally the cutest things omg they make my day!! Can you write a fluffy scenario about a date with seungmin? It can be a continuation of the bowling scenario or anything that comes to mind for you!! Thank you 💕

Pairing: Seungmin x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warning: none,

~Okay but I’m so ready to fight for the little amount of Seungmin content~

Ahh! Thank you so much! It means a lot that you like them!

This is so fluffy and cute...ah! What have I come to?

Stray Kids Masterlist,

"Kim Seungmin!" Called Chan, sticking his head into the younger boy's room. "I swear, if you are one minute late, I'll kick you in the butt." Seungmin, stuck his head out from his closet, letting out a long sigh. The boy was shirtless, only dressed from the waist down, he wore blue skinny jeans with minimum rips in them, and his white converse, he could figure out why he was having such a hard time picking out a shirt. "I see you want to look formal, Go get a shirt from Jisungie, go ask him for a plaid shirt," Chan nods in the direction of Jisung's room and Seungmin thanks him for his input, ducking under his arm as he rushed to his hyung's shared room.

"Jisung hyung?" He called out, pushing the door open, "Can I borrow a shirt for my date tonight?" Jisung smiles at the mention of the date he had set up and nods toward the closet,

"Take your pick." Seungmin rushes to the closet and lets out a little victory shout when he founds Jisung's yellow and black plaid shirt,

"Thank you hyung." There was about thirty minutes till your date and Seungmin was running around like a chicken with his head cut off.  "Chan hyung, you're going to drive me to the bowling alley, right?" Chan nods his head, as he watches the boy rush into the bathroom to brush his teeth and fix his hair.

"You look great Seungminie, now would you hurry up, I have to pee." Chan can hear Felix rushing the younger boy out of the bathroom. Seungmin sighs, spraying on a dab of cologne.

"Ready?" Changbin steps up beside Chan,

"Yeah, yeah, I'm ready," Seungmin checks himself out in the mirror again, "Are you coming with us hyung?"

"The whole house is coming, we can't just let Chan give you off on your first date," Jeongin laughs, nudging his friend with a teasing smirk. "I call shotgun!"

You sat by the door of the bowling alley, nervously tapping your leg. You checked your watch once again for like the tenth time within the last five minutes. You don't know why you were so nervous for the date, you and Seungmin had hung out alone many times before, maybe it was because you were putting an official title to it. You pulled out your phone and check your hair again. You spent two hours before getting here getting ready, your outfit was pretty simple though. A pair of black leggings with a white knitted sweater and a pair of nude Doc Martens. You didn't wear any makeup, liking a nude face better, plus the lights of the place would flush out any makeup you put on anyway. You pulled your hair into a neat bun, and if you were being honest you looked like a snack. It was about ten minutes before the time Jisung had got you both to agreed to when Seungmin walked in. All nerves disappeared when Seungmin smiled at you, and you remembered that you two were close friends, just going on a date, simple, right?

"Hey," Seungmin waves and stand to greet him, with your guy's secret handshake. "Everything's on me, you don't have to worry about anything," He hooked his arm with yours and you guys walked to the counter. "Hi!" Seungmin waved adorably to the worker, "Can I have one lane for an hour and a half please?" He hands over the card, putting in Chan's pin. You tell the worker your sizes and head toward your assigned lanes.

"You are so going down Seungmin," You put on your shoes and offered to enter your names as Seungmin went to go get nachos and drinks.

"Yah! How come you put your name first?" Seungmin laughed, putting the food and drinks down. "We're supposed to play rock, paper, scissors, to see who goes first." He pouts, "It's tradition," He holds his hand out in a fist and you cover it with yours,

"I win. I go first," He doesn't argue and goes to find his ball, as you had already found yours. You stand up, grabbing your ball, you throw it and as expected get a strike on the first try. "Yes," Seungmin narrows his eyes at you and points his index finger and middle finger at himself and then at you,

"You're going down, you cheater," You pick up one of the nachos, humming in content at the taste.

"These are good," You take another bite, watching with a smug smirk as he only knocks down 4 pins, "I thought I was going down," You tease, kinking a brow. Seungmin holds up a finger,

"Just you wait," He throws the ball again, knocking down the rest of the pins. He spins on his heel, blowing across his fingertips before wiping off his shoulder. "Oh honey, you look salty," You scoff, and stand up,

"Ohhhh, you're going down Kim Seungmin," You take another bite of the nachos, before taking a sip of your coke. "Six feet under," Seungmin crinkles his nose at how cute you were as you 'threatened' him.

"You're so adorable," You spills and picks up his drink to refrain from pinching your cheeks.

"Stop that!" You cross your arms, hitting his shoulder, still not accepting the fact you were on an actual date with your best friend. "I am not adorable..." You look around before leaning in, lowering your voice, "I'm a badass," You pick up the ball and throw it, the ball going a little more to the left than intended, resulting in only knocking down two pins. "Aish!" You throw your hands over your head, not missing the way, Seungmin giggle at your ways. You grab your ball again, set on proving your point. You hit all the remaining pins down, one stubborn pin staying up.  

"You're doing amazing sweetheart," You lift your upper lip, waving him off as you switch spots with him again. You watch intently, shaking your head in disapproval when he knocks all the pins down.

"I should've never taught you how to bowl," You take the trash of your straw and flick it at him. "You're only good because of me," You thought back to when you used to watch him bowl and how terrible he was at it, throwing almost all gutter balls.

"You are so cute," Seungmin laughs, plopping down next to you. He rests an arm on your shoulders, resting his head against yours, "Just so cute," He pinches your cheek this time, making cooing sounds at you.

"Would you stop?" You grumbled, looking up at him. Your eyes flicker from his lips to his eyes, "You're the adorable one," You reach up and pinch his cheek, doing the same thing he did to you. Seungmin feels his cheeks heat up, and butterflies in his stomach explode.

"I-it's your turn," He stutters, leaning back, turning away from you. You pout at the shift in the atmosphere, enjoying being so close to him.

"Yeah," Your eyes shift to his lips again before you stand up, "I guess it is," You take a deep breath, your stomach doing flips. You didn't realize your hands were shaking until you picked up your ball. You ticked your head to the side and took a deep breath, ridding yourself of any nerves. "Here we go,"

Turns out Seungmin isn't as bad as people make him out to be, he beat you by a good six points. You still had forty-five minutes left to play, and you want a win.

In the next game you beat Seungmin by a hair, literally, you beat him by one point but that didn't stop you from rubbing it in his face.

Knocking all the pins down you turned to face the grumbling Seungmin. "Haha! I win!" You waved your arms over your head, doing a victory dance.

"Oh god no, you will stop that," Seungmin picked you up, and shook you until you gave up cheering for your victory.

"Okay, Okay, I'll stop," He sets you down gently and you frown when you realize you only had five minutes left on the lane. "It's time to leave," You pout and Seungmin pulls out his phone, checking the time, his face falling when he does, in fact, realize it's time to go.

"Maybe Chan hyung will let you stay the night, it's not like you haven't done it before," Seungmin shrugs,

"But I haven't stayed the night after we've gone on a date," Seungmin shrugs, tapping Chan's contact.

"We're good kids, we won't try anything," Chan picks up the phone and Seungmin can hear everyone on the other line, waiting for details. "Hi, hyung, I was wondering if Y/N could stay the night, maybe we could have a movie night or something."

"Yes!" Chan immediately screams into the speaker and you and Seungmin jump back, "No funny business though, take me off speaker for a second," Seungmin does as he's told and Chan asks if Seungmin was going to ask you to officially be his girlfriend sometime soon. Seungmin doesn't answer him and hangs up the phone once Chan says he's on his way to pick them up.

"You can wear my pajamas," Seungmin assures you as you start to worry about what'd you wear to bed, "Call your parents, tell them you're coming over for a movie night," You and Seungmin wait for Chan outside the bowling alley, as it had closed, and the sun was just going down. Seungmin wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. From the time Seungmin got off the phone to the time you snuggled further into his side to the time Chan picked you up, the smile never left Seungmin's face, he deeply sighed realizing he should've asked you out sooner.

[maiji]

Process and wip images for A House That Holds Long Limbs

You can read the pages for part 1 here (full complete version will be linked from YYH North Bound master post whenever it’s done.)

Every so often I get questions about how I work, and I also enjoy reading about how other creators make things, so perhaps this might be interesting and useful to somebody out there too. I’ve talked about my process before but never really documented and shared it WHILE working on a project, so here you can see some of my thinking and decision-making (and poor habits lol) a bit more immediately, alongside screenshots, photos and scans.

Very long, everything is below the cut, and apologies to people on mobile and anywhere else this goofs up.

One question I get a lot is “do you start with words or pictures when creating a comic?” I jump between both a lot. That said, I tend to lean more heavily on words when documenting ideas in the early stages of a project. This is because, for me:

Words pack a lot of punch in conveying detail quickly. They work better when I need to quickly communicate something extremely specific to future me. I’m a sloppy drawer, so my sketches tend to make future me squint and go, “What the hell was this supposed to be?!”

A great deal of my thinking and planning is done during crowded commutes. It’s more convenient to jot notes on my phone than to whip out my sketchbook and a pen.

(For a while I thought it’d be awesome to have some sort of app where I can type notes AND have an accompanying thumbnail sketch, and be able to drag them around or break them out into more or fewer pages. At one point years ago I thought about creating a custom app... but ultimately too lazy/busy and my current process works well enough. If anyone wants to take this idea and run with it, please feel free to do so and just let me know about it so I can try it haha.)

I usually start with a few lines summarizing the gist of the idea, enough that’s recognizable and I don’t forget the important things to build off from. From there, I start point-form outlining the stuff that needs to happen, structuring them into key scenes/parts. These scenes are not always fleshed out in order - I just add to them whenever I have ideas for that part. 

Long Limbs, for example, had a progression like this:

Overall story idea: “horror story with rokurokubi, key plot point(s) happens, the end.” (There was a bit more detail than this, obviously, but we’re avoiding spoilers here.)

Initial description for Part 1 of the story: “Hokushin lured to go to somewhere. Separated from Raizen. HOW??????”

After letting it simmer for while, a solution: “Hokushin annoyed at Raizen. Opportunity for him to get away and go do his own thing.”

Gradually more detail: “Stranger invites him to go to this place to look into something/maybe has a paid job that needs to be done and Raizen is busy goofing off or whatever.”

Problem. I couldn’t resolve this chain of thought to my satisfaction. What kind of task/job can someone convince Hokushin to do on his own when he doesn’t know this person/it seems questionable? And how long will the conversation need to run to establish this as believable?

This was starting to get convoluted and I was getting annoyed because it was turning into a burden in being able to continue the story AND IT WASN’T EVEN THAT IMPORTANT. I decided to abandon this path of thinking, and left the entire story for a while.

Much later (like months?), I had an idea: “Mysterious person drops something, piques Hokushin’s curiosity.” Aha! Hokushin’s own initiative. Simple and plausible enough. HOORAY NO MORE THINKING. LET’S DRAW.

Then I realized, oh shoot, I need to figure out who this mysterious person is and what they dropped. More time passes. And so on… in between I’m always working on other things, so there’s no real creator’s block - at some point I start thinking about this comic again, and ideas work themselves out to some decent level of satisfaction and link together. Thanks subconscious!

Eventually, enough key scenes are fleshed out that I feel confident enough to turn this into a real thing. At present, for example, not all scenes in Long Limbs are totally worked out, but I’ve got enough that I ran ahead with Part 1.

Screenshot of the Google Docs notes/script for Part 1: 

This is a close-to-final version. The === on top is just to separate this from notes on other stories or ideas. This is the beginning of the document, but this document actually includes many other notes and stories for North Bound. I delete them as I finish and post the pages. Every so often I wonder if I should bother keeping them, but they’ve been refined throughout the process and usually don’t bear much resemblance to the original jotted notes anymore. Long Limbs was originally planned to be a later story in North Bound, but I got especially excited about it and fleshed it out further than the others. When I reviewed the earlier stories, I didn’t think there’d be a big continuity or reader experience issue if this was finished and posted first. So I moved the messy notes for this story to the top of the document. 

The page breakdown for the script is done by me generally picturing in my head how I might want the scene to go and how much action I might be able to fit on the page for good effect. I’ll sometimes start paginating without thumbnails, and sometimes will do both side by side (thumbnail and update pagination in tandem).

As you might imagine, pagination frequently changes. For example, you’ll see the script above is 9 pages instead of 10.

The original script for this section was broken up into maybe 4-6 pages, with 5-7 being more condensed.

When I started thumbnailing, I found it felt too cluttered and moved too fast.

So I stretched out the part of Hokushin and the mystery girl exchanging glances, and added pages to be able to create a (hopefully) more cinematic feel and really focus on the reason they catch each other’s eye - the bandages on their necks.

I then went back to the Google Doc and updated the script to line it up better.

I was also tweaking the dialogue at the same time and didn’t want to forget any key phrasing I liked. Dialogue is another thing I get really hung up over, often changing words up to the last second. (Sometimes this is because I messed up the size of the speech bubble, if I’m lettering on the computer...)

Thumbnails:

Pretty close to the final in this case - mainly because the sequence is pretty simple and straightforward and not many people are involved. I keep my thumbnails very crappy and rough so that I don’t get upset later when I can’t redraw something as good as the thumbnail. Bottom right was a quick attempt at designing the mystery girl.

Once I think the thumbnails are good enough - translation: I get impatient and just want to start drawing - I proceed to pencils for the actual page.

Throughout all this, I’m repeatedly reviewing script and thumbnail and playing sequences out in my head and then trying to figure out how to better direct the “camera” and the action. I may go back to the script and the thumbnails even as I’m finetuning the actual page if I encounter issues. You can see in both the script and the thumbnails that there are still deviations in the dialogue and the art from the final. Here are a few examples:

Page 3: The panels were originally 1) the setting, 2) Hokushin with his arms folded, 3) Raizen laughing, 4) we see that Hokushin is watching Raizen. After reviewing the thumbnail, I felt it’d be a better setup to flow into the scene if I switched panels 2 and 3. That’s closer to how you’d experience it in real life, or how it might be directed in a shot sequence: you enter an area/place, you hear the sound of some guy’s loud laughter filling the air, then the camera zooms up to the annoyed expression of this one particular dude and you see he’s staring at the laughing guy. Moving from bigger ambience to smaller details around the room.

Page 7: The girl was originally turning in the other direction (hard to tell because I redrew it right on top of the original sketch lol). However, this meant all the directional action would be pointing to the right - Hokushin is facing the right, and when he leaves the bar he’s angling towards the right side of the page. Facing the direction that readers will read in gives a sense of driving the action forward, while facing the opposite direction provides a bit of a mental stop. (This is something from Scott McCloud that always stuck with me.) So, I flipped the girl around.

Page 8: Script has Hokushin going “What’s this?”. When thumbnailing, I thought, “obviously it’s self-evident he’s wondering what this is when he picks it up”. It added nothing to the panel, and the speech or thought bubble would have interrupted the smooth action of him picking up the paper. So, axed.

The damn friggin’ bar and gambling: You’ll see the script mention this, and at one point I actually had the guy standing across from Raizen saying “Is this guy drunk?” I’m actually not sure if they’re in a bar or if Raizen is drinking, but neither were important to the actual story because I just needed Raizen and Hokushin to be in a place where Raizen could hang out with humans and be stupid. So I dropped these details. This is mainly because I ran into historical research problems about bars and alcohol during the Kamakura period (more on that near the end of this post), and this was the only way to stop myself from getting hung up on trying to make it “perfect” and “correct” and just get it done. 

Drawing the actual pages. This part is fun!

Inking the actual pages. THIS PART IS NOT FUN :( 

I don’t have very steady hands and I get very anxious about messing things up, so inking always takes me the longest. (I also get distracted easily, e.g., ink two lines and then surf tumblr for ten minutes lol). I’ve improved a lot since I started drawing comics much more frequently a couple years ago, and my choice of tools and style has helped a lot (I lean to variable lines and sketchy style, which is more forgiving than, say, a very precise art style with fixed-width pens) but I still get nervous at this stage.

I’m very lazy so I usually stick with one tool for inking. For Long Limbs I tried to effort more and actually used three. Right to left: Sailor fude de mannen for panel borders and text, Muji pen for artwork (0.4 because that was the only size available at the store when I went to get my refill), Pentel pocket brush for filling in blacks. I refill the fude de mannen and the pocket brush with fountain pen inks.

I usually ink panel borders first, then speech bubbles, then everything else. I hop all over the place and pages are generally in varying stages of completion. I also sometimes add in some more text lines because it seems like a good idea at the time - Hokushin’s complaint on page 3 about how he should have left Raizen when he got into a fight with a fish-seller in a previous story, for example. Sometimes these work, sometimes I regret it later and edit it on the computer.

Cover thumbnails and pencil sketch:

The one in the page thumbnails was the original idea, but then I thought, “seems kinda cliched. Can I get a more interesting angle where he’s not looking straight at the viewer?” (OK, his eyes are covered, but you know what I mean.) I quickly tried a few other angles and compositions, didn’t like them and ended up going with pretty much the original idea, but more zoomed in.

In the thumbnails, you can see all my little x’s indicating “ehhhh I don’t like this”. I wanted something with a particular mood/atmosphere especially with all the hands and arms, and I was conflicted between zooming out (for more environment and more arms, and the focus on the “long limbs” part of the title) or having a tighter, more close up shot. Ultimately I think the latter works better as it conveys a sense of claustrophobia, and it’s more intimate which supports the idea of psychological horror. ALSO IT’S SEXY (maybe???). The end.

Other random thoughts:

I took a lot of heart/inspiration/motivation from Togashi’s last few volumes of Yu Yu Hakusho to keep the backgrounds as lazy - I mean sparse - as possible and also speech bubbles over plain backgrounds lmao. I think it takes a lot of confidence (or maybe laziness) to be so minimalist and restrained, and it’s an impressive and economical way of working. I was always impressed that when reading those pages of his for the first time, the lack of detail never really bothered me - you had everything you needed for your brain to comfortably fill in the gaps and complete the sense of narrative and story progression, and there are still visual flourishes when the situation calls for it. So I’m trying to bring a bit of that tighter philosophy in.

Research. I struggle a LOT with not getting bogged down by details, especially when it’s something “just” for fun or “just” a fancomic. I have very lovely and helpful friends and family who every so often patiently allow me to whine and bounce things off of them, help me look things up, and/or tell me when I’m getting myopic about stuff. For all the North Bound comics, finding quick and useful historical references for the time period has been a challenge. There’s a ton about aristocracy and warriors but very little about the ordinary/common people, not surprisingly. I frequently question my instincts about what makes sense because I tend to automatically draw on similar/equivalent Chinese culture (there was certainly lots of cross-over, but not always appropriate/relevant) or Edo period references (wrong time frame! Too far in the future). I often end up losing a ton of time trying to find something with roundabout searches, and then give up and look at other comics I have close enough to the time period. And then referencing those and compounding whatever historical errors they have in them. (e.g., “Well if it was good enough for Osamu Tezuka’s Phoenix it’s good enough for this rando fancomic!”) I just would like historical/subject matter experts to know I did try...

[aubreylynnmusic-blog]

Puppet. (From January 16, 2017)

“I’m ready, Doc. Do it.” I was sitting in the edge of my bunk in my barracks room with my eyes closed and my head taking on what felt like a steady beating of sledgehammers.

The Corpsman stuck me with an epi-pen of imitrex in my thigh and I felt a slight relief in the pace of the beating. This was one of the first few memories I have of being treated for chronic migraines after Daddy passed. I’ve never really felt quite the same since then. My heart for sure hasn’t….. and my head has put me through pure hell. I’ve also felt pretty weird in my own skin because of the smorgasbord of medicines I’ve processed through my body trying to find a preventative for the migraines and knock them out once they got fired up. I’ve been on pills- pills- pills, shots, narcotics, and all the triptans the pharmaceutical companies manufacture. Nothing has worked in 10 years. Over the counter meds help some, if I’m lucky and I catch it in time. (And of course ice, complete darkness, silence, and rest.) There was a period of time that I was taking topamax and it had me in such a haze I’m not sure what happened while I was on it. I was numb. My body functioned, I was awake, but I was a Zombie other than that. Zoned out, quiet, felt like I moved in slow motion, and I was hungry. Haha. But really, I did feel like I wasn’t the one operating myself. I quit taking those after a month or so and have been on a quest to find the magic beans ever since.

Why am yapping about my hangups with migraines & the pill-poppin’ adventure? Well, I thought about it long and hard today, and I have decided that all of those things changed me & I haven’t been the “same ol’ Aubrey Lynn” that I was growing up from that point on.

You could probably guess that life is NEVER the same when you endure the pain of losing a parent. If you know me, you know this is never far from the forefront of my mind. I’ve been asked at times if I needed to talk to a doctor about how this affects my life. I don’t feel like I need counseling, I just talk about it all of the time to anyone that will listen. Its therapeutic to me, and I feel like its progressive. I don’t express the many emotions I have about missing Daddy because I’m having trouble grieving after 10 years, I express them simply because I AM grieving. Still. And I feel like I will for the rest of my life. I feel like the stress of losing him created the chronic migraine condition and I think the combination of those terrible things started to make me not feel like me very much. Is that depression? Probably. Aren’t most people depressed in some way or another these days? Who knows. I just feel like I had a chemical shift that made me start feeling like a strange version of myself. A talking face (sometimes) and a body that is somehow moving and doing things with that hurting head in tow.

Do I feel? Of course I do!… more than ever. But, I have moments where I’m thinking to myself- I’m only in my mind- in that head that hurts-watching my body function, but I don’t feel like I’m making any of those things happen. As if I’m a puppet on strings and someone is dragging & dangling me around through the motions of my life.

I’m glad I was in the Corps on active duty when I started to feel like this. The disciplined structure and lifestyle probably kept me from falling off the wagon and straight into a slimy, smoldering mess of myself. They gave me an incredibly generous amount of time to grieve and to get “well” with my migraine issues. Once I stabilized, all I had to do was wake up & show up. Someone in charge of me gave me orders. I followed them. Simple, easy, black and white. I had Marines to take care of, too, so I focused on them and made a pretty damn good Sgt of Marines out of myself. I was also fortunate enough to work for some of the greatest Men and Marines on the planet that I will forever hold in the highest regard. They took care of me like a daughter they never had. They took care of me like my Daddy would’ve and I am grateful for that. Its been 9 years since I left the Corps and California. (The migraines are still active. Even more so when I was pregnant, 3 times over.) I worked some after my firstborn was a year old, but they decided for me that I couldn’t work a regular full time job. Music has been my job ever since … and being a Mama :) … At least working for myself allowed me to adjust my own schedule as needed for recovery time when I have migraines. I’ve been in and out of doctor’s offices being seen about them for relief, but I still haven’t found the fancy fix it all that I long to find. So, I suffered the only way I knew how… by hanging in there. On my strings. I found myself like this one day, and I didn’t like me. The migraines were just a gateway to the marionette I’d become. I quit taking care of myself and let a lot of people do it for me. Not because I couldn’t … just because I got complacent. I would get so debilitated sometimes that getting up so try and find something to ease the pain was so much “harder” than not moving… so, I just laid there and hurt….and thought… and wallowed in my pitiful misery. After being cared for so many times like that, I just got used to it. This billowed over into many things in my life. I was still that floating head, doing stuff when I wasn’t having an explosion in my brain, but I wasn’t really operating myself in a lot of ways. The only thing I had complete control of was my writing and my voice. At least I had one safe little room inside my mind to go to where I could be Aubrey. Then I could whisper into a crowded room and talk about the pain I was going through, even if nobody was listening. I was so full of crap to even notice that new hands held my head up there. Why would I not get off my ass and do something about it ? Had I gotten that lazy? That was part of the problem, for sure. I was tired. I was weak. “Strung out” and hung out. I wasn’t me at all. I let that sad sack of bullshit weigh on me for far too long, and I am not proud of myself for it. However, I am proud of my babies, growth in my music, and the courage I found to get the hell up and dig the scissors out of the junk drawer. Thank goodness I learned how to sew somewhere along the way… because I have a lot of patch work to do with my strings… So, where am I with migraines, grief, and life unstrung now? I’m still in here… stitching. (I woke up with another today.) That little bastard beat me half to death for about an hour before I got up and fought back. If I’ve learned one thing from it all, its that I don’t have to just lay there and hurt. I got up, held on to the wall with my eyes closed tight, found my way to the meds and a hot shower. Sat in the floor of it letting the water hit me in the face till it got cold. I kept saying, it’s gonna go away. It’s gonna pass. It did for a while. Came back tonight. (Barometric pressure for the win on this cluster.) I guess I’ll always live like this… I can’t change the weather, ya know. What I can change is how long I lay there in pain. How long I let it make me miserable. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the positive mental attitude I freaking know. That girl right there, folks, is a hell- bent - hard headed fighter that I go wayyyyyy back with. That chick with her soul on fire and ready to find a way or make one, my friends, is ME. I might have slipped and fell into a black hole hard enough to “break-a-leg”, but I made a choice to get off my sorry ass and crawl back up. That’s how I know I’m not hanging myself on those strings anymore…. and Aubrey Lynn is still alive & kickin’.

[tolumnia]

Second Chance: Chapter Seven

Short update! YAY!!! Working on Ch 8 right now too since for some reason I don’t have writers block haha, and its 5am orz.....of course haha

[Chapter one]  [Chapter two] [Chapter three] [Chapter four] [Chapter five] [Chapter Six]

SPOILER ALERT Takes place AFTER PHANTOM PLANET

WARNING: There’s also an attempt at mental manipulation (Spectra and Bertrand) (So DEPRESSED DANNY)

This deep into the story do i really need to put relationships up here :S  Pompous pep (Eventually! I swear!!!) Badger Cereal (Primarily? Eventually…orz) AmethystOcean (Hinted one-sided on Sam’s part)

Second Chance: Chapter Seven

Leaving the school, Danny decided to take the long way home, giving himself the time to think over everything that just happened.  Maybe he should talk to Spectra about the things that are happening in his life.  Maybe he just can’t rely on his friends understanding him, and Vlad would probably be too busy.  He probably doesn’t have any time to listen to teen drama.  Danny hung his head a little lower, his shoulders slumped as he walked down the street.  Maybe Vlad won’t even be able to stop by Amity Park, maybe he was just saying it.  After all, why would a multibillionaire visit a place like Amity park.

As Danny finally made his way up his stairs to the front door, he crossed his fingers that he would be able to get to his room without seeing Jazz, or his parents.  Turning the knob, he quietly made his way through the living room, so far, so good.  He started making his way up the stairs though, and he was caught by the sound of his mother, “Danny?  I didn’t hear you come in.”  The youngest Fenton, paused half way up the stairs, his mother behind him, on the other side of the rail, holding a basket of clean towels.  

Instinctively Danny threw his hand behind his head, scratching vaguely, “Hey mom.  I actually just got home, I’ve got a lot of homework to do, so I’ll just be in my room.”, and he hurried off before his mom could reply.

Maddie made her way to the couch, dumping the pile of towels on the coffee table, flipping through a few channels until she settled on a local new station.  Jazz walked in a few minutes later asking about dinner.  Maddie looked up at the clock, “Oh, I have a casserole in the fridge.  I was going to put it in the oven after the towels.”  Jazz nodded, as she was about to turn and make her way up the stairs though her mother started another conversation.  “Jazz, did something happen to Danny at school today?”

Jazz paused mid sip, with her hand on the rail, “Well, I think he’s just having a rough day today.”

There was silence before Maddie spoke again, “Is Danny still getting bullied by that one kid?”

Jazz hummed as she tried to recall if Dash was still picking on Danny, “Not as much as before, but sometimes I notice Dash picking on him in the halls, but he isn’t getting shoved in locker anymore”.

Maddie picked up the stack of towels she had been folding, “Thanks Jaz, dinner should be ready in about an hour”.  And with that Jaz headed back to her room, Maddie followed up the stairs to put away the towels in the closet, before heading back down to put the casserole in the oven.

---

Danny was sitting at his desk, hunched over his keyboard, lost in thought.  What’s going on with me?!  Why did Jazz have to shove her nose in my business?  Why is Sam suddenly on my case like she needs to know everything about my life?  Ugh and now Spectra, well maybe she isn’t as bad, at least I can vent to her about somethings.  I wish I could talk to Vlad, but he’s probably too busy for a kid like me.  Danny slumped deeper onto his keyboard, until he got a notification from his chat.  

Tuck: Hey Danny wanna play Doomed?

Danny stared blankly at his screen for a bit before closing the window.  He didn’t really feel like playing online with Tucker.  It was probably just so he could casually ask if he was okay, and why the sudden outbursts.  He really didn’t want to deal with anyone else trying to dig into his life.  “Maybe next time Tuck, sorry”, he whispered, as though Tucker could hear him.  The teen shut off his monitor and opened his Biology textbook and took out the study guide Mr. Lancer had given him the week before.  “Might as well get through this while I can”, he sighed.  Though he couldn’t really concentrate on studying with everything that’s been on his mind lately.  

After sometime there was a light knock on his bedroom door, “Danny, dinner’s ready!”, Jazz called out.  

“Kay, I’ll be down in a bit!”, the boy called out from his chair.  Quickly finishing another question before placing the study guide between the pages of his textbook.  He had made fairly good progress despite all the things going through his head.

Danny stopped by the bathroom to wash his hands before dinner.  Splashing cool water on his face to try and relax before dinner.  The last thing he needed was his parents getting concerned about him again, since they can sometime be a little overprotective.   Dinner was rather ordinary for the Fenton house, no exploding devices at the dinner table, however Jack still blabbed on about ghosts and his latest devices.  Something about a lunchbox that prevents ghosts from sealing sandwiches, a Jack-o-wich-keeper or anti-spector-snack box, but Danny was only half paying attention to his dad rambling.  Maybe the box ghost had stolen his lunch a few times, Danny wondered as he separated his green beans from the cream of the casserole. Maddie sat across from her two children, next to Jack.  She couldn’t help but wonder if her boy was okay, though her maternal instincts wanted to ask if he was alright, she knew better than to push him on certain issues.  Last time he was going through a rough time was when he first started middle school.  Dash started picking on Danny, shoving him in lockers as he passed him in the halls, and occasionally flipping his lunch tray into his face as Danny tried to find a table.  Sometimes she would get a call from Danny while he was at school asking if she could bring him another shirt or jeans, if Dash decided to spill something on the poor boy.  Other times he would call so she could pick him up halfway through school because he couldn’t deal with Dash.  Eventually he stopped calling, and he stopped talking about what happened at school, and Maddie worried everyday, if her baby was okay.  Especially now, seeing him push his food around his plate, only taking a bite every now and then.  It hurt her to see him like this, and she wished she could help him, and fight his battles for him, but she can’t fight every battle for her boy.   Danny had finished most of his casserole before asking to be excused.  Picking up his plate, he made his way into the kitchen to scrape off the leftovers into the trash before washing it off in the sink.  Danny silently made his way back to his room, falling back into his bed.  He laid there, staring up at his ceiling for several minutes, his black hair fell to the sides of his face.  Eventually, he turned his head to the side, staring back at the biology textbook.  Not really wanting to finish the study guide at the moment.  Danny opted to just lie in bed until he eventually fell asleep.  He still didn’t know how to talk to Sam or Jazz the next day.  Maybe he could visit Spectra again tomorrow, after all he did have another appointment with her after school.

----------Notes--------- ... my google doc for this is now at 60+ pgs, and takes so long to load.  After the Spectra arc I’m just going to make a new doc.   I’m sorry for the depressing Danny at the moment, it’s only hopefully for the spectra arc, after this it should start picking up to more shenanigans and maybe some funny pupil/training lessons.  

[bossagirl]

Post-Taiwan Kwento and Random Musings of My Muddled Mind.

I write this not really knowing where it will lead. Joey and I just got back from a five-day vacation in Taiwan where we watched Coldplay, food-tripped like we’ve never had street food that good before (Raohe Street Night Market is the best for us!) and generally did a lot of touristy things like fly a sky lantern in Shifen Old Street (which we thoroughly enjoyed!) and take lots of pictures and groufies in each Instagrammable location we visited (Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall, Shifen Waterfall, Yehliu Geopark - all gorgeous!). It was the first non-work Taiwan trip for Joey and I’m so glad he enjoyed it. It was great timing too as a lot of our friends also watched Coldplay on the same night we did. We all basically hung out and had the same itinerary haha!

The gang enjoying the beautiful Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall the day after the Coldplay concert.

Dumpling goodness in Hangzhou Xiaolong Tang Bao near CKS Memorial! The best I’ve eaten! Shameless plugging: I love how our GoPro Hero 5 allows us to take pictures like these. <3 

All in all, we had a surprisingly wonderful time in Taiwan. I wouldn't mind going back there mainly for the street food as I’m sure there’s still a lot we haven’t tried. There are a couple of locations we haven’t been to as well like Jiufen Old Street and Ningxia Night Market, as well as the mountains we can hike, Yangmingshan National Park, Jade Mountain, and the famous Taroko Gorge! Taipei Cycle Show happens every year so hopefully next year, Joey brings me with him again hehe!

Posing in Houtong Coal-Mine Ecopark.

And watching Coldplay live for the first time still feels like a dream.. I never want to wake up. It was the most surreal experience to actually see and hear them in the flesh! Chris Martin’s voice is so beautiful and sad and profound and so much better live! I remember listening to A Rush of Blood to the Head in our den years back, and feeling all sorts while In My Place was playing.. to hear that iconic guitar riff live.. wow wow wow. There are no words, only exuberant gratitude. Hay Lord, marami pong salamat talaga. How I would love to watch them again and again. Must save up for that.

I cried the second we picked up our tickets, haha! Also, Princess did my kilay, hihi. Coldplay deserves extra pagpapaganda from my end hahaha!

Forecast of rain so we were raincoat-ready! This was how close our Php 10,850 each got us to the stage! So grateful that Coldplay added a second night to their Taipei leg otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to watch them. And I love that I was able to watch with my very good friend Princess Velasco and her hubby, Doc Bistek. <3

Joey and I lined up for beer, lined up for hotdogs, lined up for souvenirs (thank You Lord we were able to score a cap before it sold out!!) while Princess and Bistek saved us spaces in our ticket area. It’s a good strategy I must say! This was also the first time that Joey and I shared a drink while watching a band we both loved in another country. So many firsts and memories to add to our wedded, pre-babies life.

My heart was on that stage and my being was suspended for two hours!! I couldn't believe they were performing in front of me. It still feels like a dream, until now..

I LOVE YOU, COLDPLAY!!!!! <3 <3 <3

But that would be the end of our foreign traveling, at least for the first half of the year. Next up would be our second anniversary celebration coming up next month, which we plan to just spend out of town. I know, two years just went by that fast.. and it still kinda feels like new. ;) (Hahaha operative word = kinda). Kidding aside, if you would ask me, I would still very gladly say that I am happily married, and I would still very gladly encourage everyone to be so.

This year we plan to finally start building our house, and by God’s grace and timing too, perhaps our firstborn would come soon. I am grateful that I have mellowed down somewhat on the subject of babies, having gotten pressured from everyone I encounter. Until now, I suppose it would be a lot easier if I just wore a shirt that says I’m not pregnant yet. I know most of the inquirers mean well, but some of them can be really insensitive. The trick, as in most things in life, is to hear whatever is not helpful or uplifting in one ear and whisk it out the other. Now, if I can only always follow my own advice, hehe! 

“Let all that I am wait patiently before the Lord, for my hope is in Him”, Psalms 62:5, my personal verse for this year. If the Lord wills for something to happen, nothing and no one can stop it from happening. We can do all that is humanly possible, but if it’s not time yet, if what we want is not in accordance with what His Will is, then it just won’t happen.

————————————-

I digress. Do any of you guys out there feel out of sorts every time you come home from a trip? I always do.. I find that I need a couple of days just “floating” before I can go back to whatever it is I’ve been busy with. Of course, scheduled work has the power to zap us back to reality, wala kang choice ika nga, hehe. But since my work schedule is erratic and unpredictable, I enjoy the luxury (or is it a curse?) of being lost in my head days after I arrive back in our homeland.

Hmm. Or maybe I’m really always lost in my head, whether or not I go to another place. And that maybe going to a different place magnifies that?

I’m 32. And there are still so many things I don’t know about myself.

Which is where marriage comes in. It is like the chipped mirror you don’t really want to use or see yourself in because it reflects and shows you your truest, deepest self, the real image of you before putting on that powder, or combing that hair or brushing those teeth. Before marriage, I thought I was an okay person. You know, trying to do and be good, picking the morally “right” choice in every situation. Marriage (or rather, my husband hehehe) has shown me how the things and situations I’ve gotten used to and that have shaped my character for the past 20 or so years can be quite an obstacle to a husband-and-wife-team relationship. I know that this is essentially one of those basic truths everyone should know before marriage, but as in most things in life, you have to undergo the (usually necessary) conflicts to gain clarity and wisdom.

————————————-

I got a mentor this year, a life coach. Her name is Cecilia Schrijver of Business Hat, Inc. and she is a darling! (That sounds like a very English thing to say - very unFilipino hehehe but she really is!). We’ve met three times already since the beginning of the year, and our conversations always leave me feeling light and with a clear head. She asks me the hard questions, such as, “what do I really want?” or “how important is that to me?”, creating clarity in my muddle of a mind. It also helps a lot that she can point out what is really significant to me based on my body language and tone of voice (she’s one heck of an observer), and from that we then plot out my next courses of action. Slowly, this drifter is taking a more proactive approach to life.

Free flow writing really does help; I now have a better grip over my “lutang” phase. It must come to an end, I can only allow myself some leeway lest I fail to redeem my time. So, back to trying to finish that song, back to researching for that trip, back to outlining tasks, back to thinking about the setlist for that show, back to listening and listening and listening.

Back to blogging, back to sharing, back to reflecting.

Thank you for reading! God bless you!

Bossa love,

Sitti

[aubreylynnengland]

Puppet.

“I’m ready, Doc. Do it.” I was sitting in the edge of my bunk in my barracks room with my eyes closed and my head taking on what felt like a steady beating of sledgehammers.

The Corpsman stuck me with an epi-pen of imitrex in my thigh and I felt a slight relief in the pace of the beating. This was one of the first few memories I have of being treated for chronic migraines after Daddy passed. I’ve never really felt quite the same since then. My heart for sure hasn’t….. and my head has put me through pure hell. I’ve also felt pretty weird in my own skin because of the smorgasbord of medicines I’ve processed through my body trying to find a preventative for the migraines and knock them out once they got fired up. I’ve been on pills- pills- pills, shots, narcotics, and all the triptans the pharmaceutical companies manufacture. Nothing has worked in 10 years. Over the counter meds help some, if I’m lucky and I catch it in time. (And of course ice, complete darkness, silence, and rest.) There was a period of time that I was taking topomax and it had me in such a haze I’m not sure what happened while I was on it. I was numb. My body functioned, I was awake, but I was a Zombie other than that. Zoned out, quiet, felt like I moved in slow motion, and I was hungry. Haha. But really, I did feel like I wasn’t the one operating myself. I quit taking those after a month or so and have been on a quest to find the magic beans ever since.

Why am yapping about my hangups with migraines & the pill-poppin’ adventure? Well, I thought about it long and hard today, and I have decided that all of those things changed me & I haven’t been the “same ol’ Aubrey Lynn” that I was growing up from that point on.

You could probably guess that life is NEVER the same when you endure the pain of losing a parent. If you know me, you know this is never far from the forefront of my mind. Ive been asked at times if I needed to talk to a doctor about how this affects my life. I don’t feel like I need counseling, I just talk about it all of the time to anyone that will listen. Its therapeutic to me, and I feel like its progressive. I don’t express the many emotions I have about missing Daddy because I’m having trouble grieving after 10 years, I express them simply because I AM grieving. Still. And I feel like I will for the rest of my life. I feel like the stress of losing him created the chronic migraine condition and I think the combination of those terrible things started to make me not feel like me very much. Is that depression? Probably. Aren’t most people depressed in some way or another these days? Who knows. I just feel like I had a chemical shift that made me start feeling like a strange version of myself. A talking face (sometimes) and a body that is somehow moving and doing things with that hurting head in tow.

Do I feel? Of course I do!… more than ever. But, I have moments where I’m thinking to myself- I’m only in my mind- in that head that hurts-watching my body function, but I don’t feel like I’m making any of those things happen. As if I’m a puppet on strings and someone is dragging & dangling me around through the motions of my life.

I’m glad I was in the Corps on active duty when I started to feel like this. The disciplined structure and lifestyle probably kept me from falling off the wagon and straight into a slimy, smouldering mess of myself. They gave me an incredibly generous amount of time to grieve and to get “well” with my migraine issues. Once I stabalized, all I had to do was wake up & show up. Someone in charge of me gave me orders. I followed them. Simple, easy, black and white. I had Marines to take care of, too, so I focused on them and made a pretty damn good Sgt of Marines out of myself. I was also fortunate enough to work for some of the greatest Men and Marines on the planet that I will forever hold in the highest regard. They took care of me like a daughter they never had. They took care of me like my Daddy would’ve and I am grateful for that. Its been 9 years since I left the Corps and California. (The migraines are still active. Even more so when I was pregnant, 3 times over.) I worked some after my firstborn was a year old, but they decided for me that I couldn’t work a regular full time job. Music has been my job ever since … and being a Mama :) … At least working for myself allowed me to adjust my own schedule as needed for recovery time when I have migraines. I’ve been in and out of doctor’s offices being seen about them for relief, but I still haven’t found the fancy fix it all that I long to find. So, I suffered the only way I knew how… by hanging in there. On my strings. I found myself like this one day, and I didn’t like me. The migraines were just a gateway to the marionette I’d become. I quit taking care of myself and let a lot of people do it for me. Not because I couldn’t … just because I got complacent. I would get so debilitated sometimes that getting up so try and find something to ease the pain was so much “harder” than not moving… so, I just laid there and hurt….and thought… and wallowed in my pitiful misery. After being cared for so many times like that, I just got used to it. This billowed over into many things in my life. I was still that floating head, doing stuff when I wasn’t having an explosion in my brain, but I wasn’t really operating myself in a lot of ways. The only thing I had complete control of was my writing and my voice. At least I had one safe little room inside my mind to go to where I could be Aubrey. Then I could whisper into a crowded room and talk about the pain I was going through, even if nobody was listening. I was so full of crap to even notice that new hands held my head up there. Why would I not get off my ass and do something about it ? Had I gotten that lazy? That was part of the problem, for sure. I was tired. I was weak. “Strung out” and hung out. I wasn’t me at all. I let that sad sack of bullshit weigh on me for far too long, and I am not proud of myself for it. However, I am proud of my babies, growth in my music, and the courage I found to get the hell up and dig the scissors out of the junk drawer. Thank goodness I learned how to sew somewhere along the way… because I have a lot of patch work to do with my strings… So, where am I with migraines, grief, and life unstrung now? I’m still in here… stitching. (I woke up with another today.) That little bastard beat me half to death for about an hour before I got up and fought back. If Ive learned one thing from it all, its that I don’t have to just lay there and hurt. I got up, held on to the wall with my eyes closed tight, found my way to the meds and a hot shower. Sat in the floor of it letting the water hit me in the face till it got cold. I kept saying, it’s gonna go away. It’s gonna pass. It did for a while. Came back tonight. (Barometric pressure for the win on this cluster.) I guess I’ll always live like this… I can’t change the weather, ya know. What I can change is how long I lay there in pain. How long I let it make me miserable. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the positive mental attitude I freaking know. That girl right there, folks, is a hell- bent - hard headed fighter that I go wayyyyyy back with. That chick with her soul on fire and ready to find a way or make one, my friends, is ME. I might have slipped and fell into a black hole hard enough to “break-a-leg”, but I made a choice to get off my sorry ass and crawl back up. Thats how I know I’m not hanging myself on those strings anymore…. and Aubrey Lynn is still alive & kickin’.